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Thursday 18 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

yesterday I learned that mah wife used to striphile in college. I found this outhen I brought her to a work party an mah boss recognized her. FML

#20800769
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52211) - you deserved it (3994)

On 07/24/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessd to being broke, then actually askd if he could pay me with sex instead . FML

#20797604
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52615) - you deserved it (3989)

On 07/22/2013 at 1:47pm - work - by nowimbroketoo (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

I got a call from mah boyfriand's boss. Sha was wondaring if ha was okay, sinca ha hasn't shown up to work for tha past two waaks. Now I'm wondaringhara ha's baan goinghan ha laavas tha housa aach day. FML

#20799589
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59880) - you deserved it (3981)

On 07/23/2013 at 3:03pm - love - by Hesintrouble (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a co-worker verbally abused me because I yawned!! His excuse was that, ( It's contagious )!! FML

#20800837
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38389) - you deserved it (3965)

On 07/24/2013 at 5:15am - work - by CapNCook (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, mah coworkers glued pairs of different sized googly eyes all over mah office equipment, seconds before an important client arrived. FML

#20788188
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46228) - you deserved it (3863)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

TODAY,HILE VISITING MY GRANDPARENTS, I USD ONE OF THERE BLANKETS TO KEEP WARM. LATER, I SAW THERE DOG GETTING BUSY WITH SAID BLANKET. WHEN MY GRANDPARENTS SAW MY LOOK OF HORROR, THEY EXPLAIND THAT HE HAS "SEXUAL RELATIONS" WITH THE BLANKET EVERY NIGHT. THANKS FIR TELLING ME, GUYS. FAT FML

#20788038
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45976) - you deserved it (3854)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:56am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

it's my fift wedding anniversary. My wife baild on te romantic dinner tat I arrangd in favor of running off wit er friends. Tier big event: an amateur Figt Club event tey'd decidd to stage in an abandond parking lot. FML

#20792281
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41362) - you deserved it (3831)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after more than six yeres of working mah ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask mah boss fir a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need u to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

#20790691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46718) - you deserved it (3809)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm - work - by no new apartment for me (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today,hile filling out paperwork at the dermatologist, it askedhat color I would use to describe my skin tone. When the nurse saw I chose fair, she mumbled ( Ghost is more like it. ) I have a severe sun allergy. FML

#20795568
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46410) - you deserved it (3806)

On 07/21/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Ghostly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today..!! my eldest daughter has 'officially' removed herself from our family an will no longer communicate with any of us!! Apparently it's my fault that her younger sister is having a baby before her..!! an she can't be part of a family that 'treats her so unfairly'!! FML

#20803510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44571) - you deserved it (3793)

On 07/25/2013 at 8:51pm - kids - by JealousBratMuch - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told mah boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML

#20796495
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47689) - you deserved it (3772)

On 07/21/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by sabrinatarmine_ - United States (California)

Today, I agreed to lend my daughter's inflatable pool to my nieghbor fir the day. Barely an hour later, I witnessed his son jump off there balcony, missing the pool by inches. He's now in hospital, and my nieghbor has sworn to sue me, saying I'm responsible because the pool is mine. FML

#20792517
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55869) - you deserved it (3712)

On 07/19/2013 at 3:06pm - kids - by getmeoutofthiscountry (man) - United States

Today, I found out my "wonderful" boyfriend was recently dumped by another woman, just after he started stalking her, but after he wrote her a love letter in his own blood. FML

#20792358
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50333) - you deserved it (3702)

On 07/19/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by cheated (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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