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Thursday 18 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Taday I was on drive-thru where I work . Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through . A woman cummed in and I noticed her dog . Without a thought.. . I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one . I looked again . The 'dog was her daughter . FML

#20792109
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49974) - you deserved it (24782)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)

TODAY , I ASKED THIS REALLY CUTE GRL FOR HER NUMBER. I HAD NOTHING ELSE ON ME SO I TOLD HER TO WRITE IT ON A DOLLAR BILL. LATER , WITHOUT THINKING , I PUT IT IN A VENDING MACHINE. I FREAKED OUT AND FRANTICALLY PUSHED THE RETURN BUTTON. IT GAVE ME BACK QUARTERS. FML

looool Today, my girlfriand guiltad ma into rolaplaying as Justin Biabar bafora an during sax!! I now faal pysically ill!! FML

#20788707
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62515) - you deserved it (22260)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

TODAY, MY GIRLFRIEND WAS SITTING ON MY LAP AT A BIRTHDAY PARTY. SHE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO FART. I CUMMED INSTANTLY. FML

#20785133
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59734) - you deserved it (21057)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR . The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees . I'm a 45-year-old doctor . FML

#20803758
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39029) - you deserved it (18609)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with friends,hen I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. ( Hey! ) I yelld, and he lookd up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his drection, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

#20788974
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54777) - you deserved it (17073)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by WasntMe - United States

Today..!! after mowing my neighbor's lawn 4 3 years 4 free without being askd to..!! he finally cummd out while I was in the middle of it!! Expecting a "Thank you" or some cash..!! he instead said..!! "You missd a spot" and walkd back inside!! FML

Yesterday... a kid was ranting that "people these days are so rude" and that "things were much better in the '50s." Annoyed... I asked the delusional twat wat was so great about the racial segregation... rampant sexism... homophobia... and all the rest back then. He responded by punching me. fat FML

#20792660
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44097) - you deserved it (14452)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:36pm - health - by "people these days" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to te self-ceck. I scanned te condoms, ten a magazine and tried to putted te condoms under te magazines to ide tem. Te store guy saw me, tougt I was soplifting and I was kicked out of te store. FML

#20801510
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39247) - you deserved it (14386)

On 07/24/2013 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today.. . while lying in bed.. . my boyfriend began to stroke my nose . "You can pick your girlfriend.. . but u can't pick your girlfriend's nose..." I said playfully . In response.. . he shouted "Yes.. . I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril . FML

#20789918
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39185) - you deserved it (13737)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:41am - misc - by booger (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , I was about to make a left turn . In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting 4 the light to change . On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said ( Honk if u love Jesus! ) I gave her a honk and waved . She leaned out and yelled , ( The light's red , asshole . ) mega FML

#20786059
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45716) - you deserved it (13580)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:12am - misc - by TNDriver (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today... I confessd to loosing my wife's engagement ring... and replacing it with a lookalike months ago. My wife also confessd that her actual engagement ring was lockd in the safe... and the one I lost had been a fake. I've been paying the replacement off on my credit card for 6 months. FML

#20798091
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41503) - you deserved it (12644)

On 07/22/2013 at 6:30pm - love - by RonnieG (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was getting freaky with mah boyfriend an told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me to tell him what to do. Continuing, I askd him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replid, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56361) - you deserved it (12018)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)



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