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Thursday 18 July 2013

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Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying, "I'm not ready for a serious relationship." We're supposed to get married in a month. FML

by anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 1:47am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I caught my roommate pouring back his leftover milk from his cereal back into the jug to "save money." FML

by why / 07/23/2013 at 9:21am / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to wake my mom up. While she was naked. On the toilet. FML

by 27161697 / 07/22/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally convinced my mum to take me to a psychologist. As soon as he sat me down and asked me how I was doing, my mum burst into tears and went on a rant about how her life is terrible and she regrets everything. I was asked to sit in the waiting room. She used up my whole hour. FML

by :-( / 07/17/2013 at 1:22am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my pre-teen brother has started using the entire Axe line because he believes that it will give him an "edge with the ladies". He insists on using the products at least three times a day, including before bedtime. I'm allergic to anything that is perfumed. We share a room. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 5:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 12:53pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was finally asked out on a date after a year of being single. Turns out he got the wrong number. FML

by foreveralone / 07/23/2013 at 5:51am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, the family I live with decided that beer is a more important purchase than the things we need, such as detergent, soap, and toilet paper, just to name a few things. Apparently, paper towels should suffice. FML

by alyssuhh526 / 07/17/2013 at 5:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at work, a woman came up to the snack bar and ordered a pretzel with no salt. When I served her the food, she angrily complained about it having no salt, followed by her throwing the whole thing in my face. FML

by YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK THE CUSTOMER / 07/20/2013 at 1:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, we got a new employee at work. I said hi, and told her that if she needed help figuring out our computer system, then to give me a call. She promptly accused me of sexual harassment and filed a complaint against me. FML

by OfficeDroneWoman / 07/23/2013 at 1:16pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I've been bedridden for the past two weeks. My boyfriend casually remarked that he understands now why some people cheat on their seriously-ill partners. Thanks for adding to the stress, sweetie. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 2:30pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Love

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm / United States (Oregon) / Work