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Thursday 27 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. Now my back is in agonizing pain, and I can barely walk. FML

#20755309
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42486) - you deserved it (4750)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:36am - health - by TooYoungForThis - Canada

Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML

#20754680
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42585) - you deserved it (4695)

On 06/29/2013 at 5:49pm - love - by cheerbabeXoXo (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49482) - you deserved it (4673)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

#20763424
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39488) - you deserved it (4655)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, a group of friends and I went out to a fancy club together. The doorman checked us out and let everyone in. Everyone except me, that is. The doorman's reason: "Her face looks like a baboon's arse." My "friends" all went in anyway, leaving me to walk all the way home. FML

#20753013
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51320) - you deserved it (4638)

On 06/28/2013 at 7:22pm - misc - by arse-face (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, my ten-year-old brother came to visit me in NYC. Within ten minutes of walking on Times Square he had seen a prostitute and a partially-naked man. He now refuses to leave my apartment and screams when I try to drag him out. He's here for the next two weeks. FML

#20744309
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46505) - you deserved it (4634)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:06am - kids - by NYCproblems - United States (New York)

Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML

#20753850
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45959) - you deserved it (4608)

On 06/29/2013 at 4:02am - love - by bubblegum92 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

#20761484
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70903) - you deserved it (4575)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)

Today, my fiancé paid a visit to my parents so he could ask my dad's permission to marry me. My dad responded with, "Why buy the cow when you can milk it for free?" FML

#20757403
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53958) - you deserved it (4542)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:38am - love - by Gracie-Ann (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw a little girl digging in the gravel inside the fireworks tent I work in. After she and her family left, I went and used my foot to smooth out the mound she'd made. In doing so, I discovered that she wasn't digging, she was burying. She'd pooped. FML

#20762850
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48128) - you deserved it (4526)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by brokeandhungry - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my family. They didn't even notice me there until the dog started barking at me because I took his spot. My mom defended the dog, and now I'm sitting on the floor while a Pomeranian takes up half the couch for himself. FML

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

#20744678
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54924) - you deserved it (4485)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML

#20759842
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46072) - you deserved it (4467)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:39pm - health - by good big sister? (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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