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Monday 24 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18820) - you deserved it (58609)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was pretending to talk on the phone with my wife just to avoid to speak with my boring coworker. After two awkward minutes of him waiting in front of my desk and me inventing a call, he handed me the disconnected phone cable and left. FML

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

#20749580
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25315) - you deserved it (45987)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by authorx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML

#20745749
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26007) - you deserved it (40402)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

#20754108
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25165) - you deserved it (35794)

On 06/29/2013 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

#20749220
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25419) - you deserved it (32103)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by blahblah (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight hour shift. FML

#20756560
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33718) - you deserved it (28709)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:00pm - work - by readytoamputatemyfeet (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was doing a little victory jig after finally sending out the last of the invitation cards for my wedding when I realised that I had forgotten to put the date of the event on them. FML

#20749970
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35648) - you deserved it (20642)

On 06/27/2013 at 8:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I saw my former high school teacher at the mall. After a nice conversation, she mentioned that I "still dress like a slut." FML

#20757992
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40141) - you deserved it (19620)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my crush kissed me for the first time. However, my hair was falling into my face and getting in the way. No problem, I wear a wig so without thinking, I simply removed it. I don't think he'll kiss me again anytime soon. FML

#20755685
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47338) - you deserved it (18251)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my girlfriend of nearly 2 years out to dinner so I could propose. When the waiter brought the check, I caused a bit of a scene to get everyone's attention. When I got on my knee and proposed, she said no and asked if I could hurry up and pay, because she was embarrassed. FML

#20744819
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56924) - you deserved it (16094)

On 06/24/2013 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

#20745688
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50127) - you deserved it (13807)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by dan (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47607) - you deserved it (13581)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium



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