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Thursday 20 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

#20746329
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47060) - you deserved it (6191)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49972) - you deserved it (6175)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I learned that the money I work hard for on YouTube has been transferred to the wrong person's banking account. That person is my ex-girlfriend. FML

#20732776
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46563) - you deserved it (6144)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:35am - money - by Broccolliboyy (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

#20744996
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32724) - you deserved it (6064)

On 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by thanksdoc (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying: "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

#20746882
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41326) - you deserved it (5708)

On 06/25/2013 at 5:45pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML

#20733830
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58809) - you deserved it (5571)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't been to the dentist in two years and definitely doesn't plan on it because, "That's just how the government steals more money." FML

#20734761
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41048) - you deserved it (5527)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by RoyallyGrossedOut (woman) - United States

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

#20736775
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55829) - you deserved it (5507)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:47am - intimacy - by naughtymommy0317 (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the airport when I saw a woman drop her bags and run to her husband. Thinking that someone might steal them, I picked up her bags and brought them over to her. She thanked me by slapping me, calling me a bitch and calling security. FML

#20735913
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40823) - you deserved it (5492)

On 06/19/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

#20751604
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43250) - you deserved it (5485)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:57pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

#20732528
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37006) - you deserved it (5436)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by ProAwkward - United States (Texas)

Today, getting off a bus, it was pouring rain so I got my umbrella out. A man elbowed me in the gut and grabbed it. When I told my mom about it she said, "That's New York, get over it." FML

#20731128
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43340) - you deserved it (5424)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:46am - misc - by newyorkers - United States (New York)



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