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Thursday 20 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

Today, I'm left with two non-refundable tickets to Jamaica, because my now ex-boyfriend said his Quidditch tournament is more important than seeing my "fat ass in a bikini". FML

#20745099
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48030) - you deserved it (5980)

On 06/24/2013 at 7:24pm - love - by afraid of flying too - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47489) - you deserved it (5886)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

#20746329
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43930) - you deserved it (5835)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

#20744996
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30604) - you deserved it (5726)

On 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by thanksdoc (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying: "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

#20746882
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39415) - you deserved it (5505)

On 06/25/2013 at 5:45pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

#20732528
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36783) - you deserved it (5418)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by ProAwkward - United States (Texas)

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

#20736775
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54167) - you deserved it (5364)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:47am - intimacy - by naughtymommy0317 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't been to the dentist in two years and definitely doesn't plan on it because, "That's just how the government steals more money." FML

#20734761
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39098) - you deserved it (5330)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by RoyallyGrossedOut (woman) - United States

Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML

#20733830
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56151) - you deserved it (5311)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter had ice cream while I was napping. She didn't want me to know so she put the bowl in the trashcan and put the spoon in the garbage disposal and turned it on, because she thought it would make the spoon disappear. FML

#20730678
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41955) - you deserved it (5236)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by cherbear1000 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

#20732995
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54273) - you deserved it (5206)

On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

#20751604
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40744) - you deserved it (5195)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:57pm - health - by Anonymous - United States



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