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Thursday 20 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out my old DVD player is jealous of my Blu-ray player. It fell from the top of my closet and hit me in the head. FML

#20747890
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34554) - you deserved it (7030)

On 06/26/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

#20731650
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74527) - you deserved it (6779)

On 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a wasp flew into my car. In my frantic attempt to get away from it, I got pulled over and had to prove I was driving sober. FML

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

#20733887
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43221) - you deserved it (6641)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while working the graveyard shift at my hotel, it felt a little chilly, so I grabbed a blanket out of the box we usually store old blankets in. 20 minutes later, the live-in maintenance man casually remarked that those blankets are all infected with bed-bugs. FML

#20741908
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42920) - you deserved it (6600)

On 06/23/2013 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I tried to wipe some sweat off my brow before it could make its way down into my eye. I ended up poking myself in the eye so hard that I yelped, stumbled and was thrown off the still-moving treadmill while trying to regain my balance. FML

#20738117
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37905) - you deserved it (6587)

On 06/20/2013 at 11:06pm - health - by Ouch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

#20733333
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41468) - you deserved it (6573)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by skunked - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69022) - you deserved it (6562)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

#20749135
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57831) - you deserved it (6479)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by the_lonely_life - United States

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49299) - you deserved it (6465)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42683) - you deserved it (6405)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that the money I work hard for on YouTube has been transferred to the wrong person's banking account. That person is my ex-girlfriend. FML

#20732776
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46364) - you deserved it (6121)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:35am - money - by Broccolliboyy (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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