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Monday 17 June 2013

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Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I left hospital after a three-night stay. Whilst waiting for my taxi to arrive, my mother called me in hysterics wanting to know where I was, because the police had called her and told her I had gone missing. Turns out my doctor "forgot" to tell anyone that I was discharged. FML

by Becckzfizz / 06/20/2013 at 10:10am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals

Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML

by me / 06/22/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer broke my nose for refusing to give him a discount because the product he was buying had a fine layer of dust on the box. FML

by Whytetrash / 06/20/2013 at 2:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, at work, a woman demanded a refund for a video game. She had no receipt, so due to company policy, I couldn't refund her. She reacted by loudly accusing me of being racist, then yelled that she'd see me in court as she finally stormed out. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2013 at 3:15pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Work

Today, I thought I was home alone. Likewise, my visiting grandfather thought he was alone. You can imagine the mutual surprise when I caught him stealing money from my sister's bedroom. FML

by pumboc / 06/24/2013 at 1:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Money

Today, I helped an elderly lady put a bookshelf in her car. She then thanked me by hitting me with her car as she drove out of the parking lot. FML

by anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 9:09pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML

by whoriblemomindeed / 06/20/2013 at 12:02pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I returned home from a two-year trip overseas. My mom's first words as she greeted me at the arrivals terminal of the airport were, "Your father and I are getting a divorce." FML

Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm / United States (California) / Work