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Saturday 25 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML

#20688959
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39313) - you deserved it (4530)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:39am - misc - by docwinters (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to set parental controls on my iPad so my dad couldn't watch dirty videos on Youtube. FML

#20696604
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55037) - you deserved it (4504)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

#20698927
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45029) - you deserved it (4492)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at my nursing internship. After helping a patient get into bed, I began to walk out of the room when I heard him say to another nurse, "Now that was a king sized lady". To make things even better, she didn't understand him the first time and I got to hear him say it again. FML

Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML

Today, I have an upset stomach. Every other minute, it sounds like Chewbacca is screaming to get out. FML

#20675696
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35231) - you deserved it (4439)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm - health - by pixkalexi - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my piano teacher complimented my song, calling it great. I was proud and thanked him, then realized he was being sarcastic. FML

#20683283
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34803) - you deserved it (4439)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me, saying it was only because I was wearing a sports bra. I wasn't. It was the push-up bra he bought me. FML

#20686053
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50079) - you deserved it (4423)

On 05/25/2013 at 7:12pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML

#20686007
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48207) - you deserved it (4411)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a group of guys came into my restaurant, dressed up in some kind of role-playing game clothing. Apparently I pronounced one of their fake elf names wrong, because the guy complained to my manager, who then bitched me out in front of everyone for upsetting the customers. FML

#20685944
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43704) - you deserved it (4387)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:13pm - work - by leela (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML

#20681249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46276) - you deserved it (4317)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55031) - you deserved it (4278)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

#20675286
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48153) - you deserved it (4215)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by well okay then - Canada (Alberta)



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