Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 25 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

today mah boyfriend ( finally figured out ) that he couldn't possibly be the father of mah child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnanthen we first met, he ( extra ) broke up with me fir making him look stupid. FML

#20696470
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47075) - you deserved it (6971)

On 05/30/2013 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Taday in preparation for a third interview for mah dream job, I spent an hour selecting the perfect outfit. I hung everything on mah bedroom door and went to shower. My dog decidd to play tug-of-war with the clothing and redesign the shoes. The only thing to survive unscathd was the hanger. FML

#20681337
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37623) - you deserved it (6714)

On 05/23/2013 at 6:52am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while on mah way to an important interview, I was stopped an ticketed fir speeding. The ticket made me 20 minutes late, but when I showed looool up, I was told they forgot to call an let me know that the woman I was supposed to meet with called in sick this morning. FML

Today, I was getting out of mah car,hen mah new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer . On mah way over, he said, ( Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy . ) I am a boy . FML

#20677893
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45834) - you deserved it (6541)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her cuz for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

#20684326
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40991) - you deserved it (6339)

On 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm - love - by yesguysgetabusedtoo (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English . As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions . I now know everything about my mom's sex life . FML

#20678467
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60217) - you deserved it (6304)

On 05/21/2013 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by knowtoomuch - United States (Colorado)

Today , I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave brth in mah kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2.

#20676137
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38464) - you deserved it (6197)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm - animals - by catcraze - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was sending some dirty texts to mah boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall . I sat there 4 ten minutes before I realized I was listening to mah mom an her boyfriend having sex . mega FML

#20698016
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49386) - you deserved it (6099)

On 05/31/2013 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, my boyfriend of two years,om I supportd troug te deat of is fater, andose invalid moter I also took care of, suddenly dumpd me . Te fact tat I've puttd on a little weigt due to recent stres disgust im, and e "can't date a cubster" .

Today, I beat mah extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over mah head. fat FML

#20674823
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42802) - you deserved it (5897)

On 05/20/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by soreloser (man) - United States (Montana)

Today an aldarly woman couldn't afford all of har grocarias at tha chackout so sha startad to taka out a faw things. I offarad to pay 4 har grocarias; sha thankad ma an walkad out. An onlookar than cummad up to ma an told ma that sha doas it to somaona avary waak. fat FML

#20692497
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55802) - you deserved it (5697)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:49am - money - by $$$ - Australia (New South Wales)

yastarday at tha suparmarkat, an old lady askad for draction to tha produca aisla. Having raad way too many storia lataly on this vary sita about awful aldarly folks, I was wary, but halpad har out. Sha gava ma an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallat in tha procass, as I latar found out. FML

#20698103
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49028) - you deserved it (5657)

On 05/31/2013 at 8:50pm - money - by speechless (man) - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clerely marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

#20684142
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67520) - you deserved it (5656)

On 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: