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Tuesday 30 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML

#20647074
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55662) - you deserved it (4339)

On 05/07/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by the girl next door (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML

#20640984
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50746) - you deserved it (4187)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by immovingout (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML

#20645244
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52571) - you deserved it (4183)

On 05/06/2013 at 11:25am - work - by perfecttiming (man) - United States (California)

Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML

#20633517
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39909) - you deserved it (4148)

On 04/30/2013 at 8:31pm - money - by honeynuggetviolin -

Today, while paying a $60 tab on drinks for a girl, a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me, then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves, but to report me for not paying. FML

#20634407
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49666) - you deserved it (4145)

On 05/01/2013 at 6:30am - money - by Alexman1985 -

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

#20647820
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45522) - you deserved it (4128)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States

Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML

#20640612
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47255) - you deserved it (4096)

On 05/04/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML

#20632607
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38137) - you deserved it (4054)

On 04/30/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by good husband - Canada

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50397) - you deserved it (3901)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML

Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML

#20636739
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39704) - you deserved it (3779)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

#20642182
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46807) - you deserved it (3744)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)

Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML

#20643431
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49240) - you deserved it (3634)

On 05/05/2013 at 4:49pm - kids - by Aunjy - United States (New Jersey)



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