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Friday 26 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32659) - you deserved it (111665)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML

#20624531
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18965) - you deserved it (73259)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML

#20613766
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20118) - you deserved it (69325)

On 04/22/2013 at 6:31pm - love - by Out from Hell (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

#20627981
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33544) - you deserved it (69252)

On 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

#20634623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20382) - you deserved it (69050)

On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

#20638691
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25606) - you deserved it (67633)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by acnecream - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML

#20630741
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17193) - you deserved it (58087)

On 04/29/2013 at 5:11pm - misc - by random - Canada

Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML

#20629579
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23948) - you deserved it (57270)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:26am - love - by bad day Brutus (man) - United States

Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

#20634924
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27387) - you deserved it (53433)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

#20636525
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27816) - you deserved it (50001)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:02am - work - by FireoftheFuture - United States

Today, I missed multiple calls from the company I applied to. That was the supervisor calling, wanting to hire me. I then remembered my idiotic voicemail I made months ago where I pretended to answer and say stupid stuff for 5 minutes. I don't think I'm going to get the job. FML

#20627029
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19689) - you deserved it (49695)

On 04/28/2013 at 5:09am - work - by stupid voicemails - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML

#20620173
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29074) - you deserved it (42762)

On 04/25/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by goingtobeevicted - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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