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Saturday 20 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike. Instead of coming to my aid, the driver just laid on his horn and screamed out the window for me to move my ass, because he had places to be. FML

#20609136
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51665) - you deserved it (5197)

On 04/21/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after a few weeks of my friends pestering me to spend time with a mutual friend, I realized we had a lot in common. We both love shoes, peanut butter, and it appears that my boyfriend of three years is her boyfriend of four years. FML

#20612533
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72071) - you deserved it (5099)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:58am - love - by Stupid (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

#20596513
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61740) - you deserved it (5049)

On 04/16/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by fucklife - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

#20600192
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59271) - you deserved it (5029)

On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

#20624720
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53127) - you deserved it (4992)

On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

#20618791
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63898) - you deserved it (4782)

On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML

#20601228
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48676) - you deserved it (4779)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:01am - money - by some people's parents - United States (Colorado)

Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML

#20608351
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53007) - you deserved it (4736)

On 04/20/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was leaving work when I realized I had forgotten my bag on my desk. As I went back to get it, I overheard my co-workers talking about "last night's office party." I wasn't invited. FML

#20618055
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43574) - you deserved it (4704)

On 04/24/2013 at 10:10am - work - by demispark - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML

#20593450
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46561) - you deserved it (4584)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I discovered why my boss kept on scheduling me to work doubles almost every day. It wasn't because she knew I needed the extra money; she was hoping that my boyfriend would break up with me because I'm never home, and date her instead. It worked. FML

#20615252
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69964) - you deserved it (4547)

On 04/23/2013 at 4:17am - love - by mybossisanass (woman) - United States

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86130) - you deserved it (4529)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States



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