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Friday 19 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

#20604138
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38753) - you deserved it (3669)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:07am - work - by lamelifeguard - United States (Colorado)

Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML

#20619241
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44188) - you deserved it (3668)

On 04/24/2013 at 8:18pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML

#20593450
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39015) - you deserved it (3665)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML

#20601226
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40938) - you deserved it (3583)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was yelled at and called a pedophile by a mom for talking to her 5 year old girl. I work at a library and she looked like she needed help. This is the third time it has happened. FML

#20621829
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43931) - you deserved it (3575)

On 04/25/2013 at 9:37pm - kids - by LibraryPedo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

#20597317
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33454) - you deserved it (3475)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:13pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the nasty rash on my arms. He concluded that I'm allergic to beer and the rash will go away if I stay away from it. I'm a bartender. FML

#20592891
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47218) - you deserved it (3468)

On 04/15/2013 at 3:31am - work - by BarBacked (woman) - United States

Today my ex-boyfriend accepted my mother's offer to have his wedding in our backyard. FML

#20616531
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44624) - you deserved it (3447)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by traitor (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, working in customer support, I received a call from a woman who'd just been robbed. My supervisor asked what was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical. He took my phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up. I take orders from this man. FML

#20595880
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38537) - you deserved it (3434)

On 04/16/2013 at 6:50am - work - by no compassion - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was sent to group therapy. A girl spent twenty minutes telling us horrible details of having been raised incestuously. A side effect of my new medication is yawning. FML

Today, I was mugged by a street preacher. The same one who'd earlier in the day screamed at me for being an evil sinner. FML

#20611067
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42213) - you deserved it (3336)

On 04/21/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by wallet? GONE (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came home from a four month stay in Africa, where I managed to avoid suffering any serious illness. Some hours after my first meal back at home, I got food poisoning. FML

#20608123
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40061) - you deserved it (3320)

On 04/20/2013 at 5:17pm - misc - by unlucky - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found a pound of cooked bacon in the dryer. When I asked my roommate about it, he confessed; his excuse was that he wanted to dry up the grease before eating it. FML



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