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Friday 12 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41296) - you deserved it (5013)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

#20602422
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41049) - you deserved it (4979)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States

Today, for the fifth time since my parents got divorced, my father has decided he doesn't want to pick me up for his weekend because I'm "too responsible to have fun with." FML

#20596320
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36259) - you deserved it (4969)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML

#20585168
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38845) - you deserved it (4911)

On 04/11/2013 at 3:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, I started my new job as a mail carrier. One of my assigned roads was Milbrooke Street, which I'd never heard of. After driving around for ages trying to find it, I called for directions. The street doesn't exist in my city; it's just the boss' way of seeing how stupid you are. FML

#20584939
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31668) - you deserved it (4862)

On 04/11/2013 at 12:18pm - work - by Directionally challenged - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend chooses extra shifts at work over hanging out with me. Every time. She doesn't even like her job. FML

#20591828
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34974) - you deserved it (4799)

On 04/14/2013 at 10:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML

#20586134
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38389) - you deserved it (4733)

On 04/12/2013 at 6:23am - work - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

#20580301
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28019) - you deserved it (4679)

On 04/08/2013 at 4:30am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

#20596513
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56573) - you deserved it (4646)

On 04/16/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by fucklife - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my mom started fundraising and selling things on ebay. At first I was happy because I thought she was finally going to help me pay my college tuition. Turns out she's planning on raising money to get our dog a new friend because she's "lonely". FML

#20583166
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32181) - you deserved it (4574)

On 04/10/2013 at 2:54am - money - by Witos (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43656) - you deserved it (4550)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

#20600192
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53670) - you deserved it (4549)

On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by wut... (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, after weeks of insomnia, I fell asleep. This would have been great if my brother didn't wake me up at 3am, screaming because his guild finally took down a raid boss. I'm now grounded for thumping him, and have to do all his chores while sleep deprived. FML

#20592535
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36847) - you deserved it (4359)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:32am - misc - by do your own ironing (woman) -



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