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Monday 8 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

#20585229
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51825) - you deserved it (3491)

On 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the nasty rash on my arms. He concluded that I'm allergic to beer and the rash will go away if I stay away from it. I'm a bartender. FML

#20592891
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47103) - you deserved it (3460)

On 04/15/2013 at 3:31am - work - by BarBacked (woman) - United States

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

#20585943
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58333) - you deserved it (3342)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML

#20584117
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34700) - you deserved it (3316)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML

#20591068
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37537) - you deserved it (3277)

On 04/14/2013 at 6:20pm - health - by danman (man) - United States

Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML

#20583228
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32956) - you deserved it (3176)

On 04/10/2013 at 5:06am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML

#20592364
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59347) - you deserved it (3159)

On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States

Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML

#20580194
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44882) - you deserved it (3057)

On 04/08/2013 at 2:12am - health - by chinatownhobo (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML

#20581007
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34904) - you deserved it (2994)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML

#20582191
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31870) - you deserved it (2928)

On 04/09/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by FootFlakes (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

#20581667
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61671) - you deserved it (2899)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML

#20580464
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28423) - you deserved it (2823)

On 04/08/2013 at 10:08am - work - by save the koalas? uhh - Australia (Queensland)



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