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Monday 8 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today after weeks of insomnia I fell asleep. This would have been great if mah brother didn't wake me up at 3am screaming because his guild finally took down a raid boss. I'm now grounded fir thumping him and have to do all his choreshile sleep deprived. big fat FML

#20592535
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40962) - you deserved it (5058)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:32am - misc - by do your own ironing (woman) -

Taday I had a lunch meeting with important people from mah company. While drinking from mah wine glass someone crackd a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over mah lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrifid look on mah boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

#20580301
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30695) - you deserved it (5036)

On 04/08/2013 at 4:30am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I found out that mah daughter has been stuffing mah push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home !! She's 9 !! The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services !! FML

#20582376
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50602) - you deserved it (4980)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

TODAY, AT WORK AS A GYNECOLOGIST, I CALLED IN MAH LAST PATIENT OF THE DAY . AS SOON AS I TOOK A PEEK, I NOTICED THAT SHE HAD STUCK GOOGLY-EYES ABOVE HER VAGINA . SHE TOLD ME WITH A STRAIGHT FACE NOT TO BE AFRAID, CUZ ( SHE DOESN'T BITE . ) FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47491) - you deserved it (4891)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML

#20586134
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40212) - you deserved it (4870)

On 04/12/2013 at 6:23am - work - by Anonymous - Canada

today my mom started fundraising and selling things on ebay. At first I was happy because I thought she was finally going to help me pay my college tuition. Turns out she's planning on raising money to get our dog a new friend because she's "lonely". mega FML

#20583166
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33635) - you deserved it (4741)

On 04/10/2013 at 2:54am - money - by Witos (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today , I had to get my grandparents out of jail , cuz they were caught having sex in a public place!! They excused their actions by saying that u can only be young and stupid once , so if u continue doing stupid actions , u r still young!! FML

Taday mah boyfriand broka up with ma. Ha wants us to stay friands, though, so ha can continua to usa mah coffaa makar. FML

#20593450
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44664) - you deserved it (4422)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was out when a guy walking with his grlfriend eyed me up . I made a shocked face at him and kept walking . The next thing I knew, his grlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in life . FML

#20581007
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40632) - you deserved it (4345)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, I Found Out That Yale Had Actually Accepted Me Seventeen Years Ago. My Mother Apparently Burned Mah Acceptance Package And Letter Because She Didn't Want Me To Upstage Her UChicago Degree. FML

TODAY I BAKED MY FRIEND A CAKE FOR HIS 21ST BIRTHDAY. WHEN I ARRIVED AT HIS HOUSE HIS GIRLFRIEND WHO HADN'T MADE HIM ANYTHING SCREAMED AT ME FOR ( MAKING HER LOOK BAD. ) SHE THEN TOOK THE CAKE BANNED ME FROM THE PARTY AND KICKED ME OUT. FML

Today , I had to axplain to mah grlfriand onca again that tha dry skin sha picks off har faat balong in tha trash , not on our coffaa tabla. FML

#20582191
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37279) - you deserved it (4126)

On 04/09/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by FootFlakes (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, is the day of the biggest concert in the state of Florida, and it's also my brthday. I was so excited to hear my mom got tickets. It was for her boyfriend and her. I'm stuck at home babysitting. FML

#20589773
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54663) - you deserved it (4094)

On 04/14/2013 at 9:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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