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Monday 8 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I'm still madly in love, called me and begged me to come back to him. In shock, I asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" He giggled, said yes, and then promptly hung up. FML

#20595377
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59553) - you deserved it (6698)

On 04/15/2013 at 10:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

#20586109
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46019) - you deserved it (6594)

On 04/12/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML

#20593773
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72632) - you deserved it (6471)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by wow (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML

#20580049
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43098) - you deserved it (6427)

On 04/08/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by badparent (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my Romeo and Juliet style relationship hit an all time low when my boyfriend's parents filed a lawsuit against my parents. FML

#20585611
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46524) - you deserved it (6194)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:40pm - love - by Juliet (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML

#20584991
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37051) - you deserved it (5934)

On 04/11/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by no tea parties here, gran (man) - United States

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38419) - you deserved it (5893)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today, I found out that my girlfriend chooses extra shifts at work over hanging out with me. Every time. She doesn't even like her job. FML

#20591828
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39907) - you deserved it (5723)

On 04/14/2013 at 10:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML

#20586452
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50387) - you deserved it (5694)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:21pm - misc - by it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML

#20583902
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48284) - you deserved it (5534)

On 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm - love - by drama king? (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML

#20595162
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58553) - you deserved it (5501)

On 04/15/2013 at 9:35pm - kids - by Mimi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

#20585943
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62240) - you deserved it (5446)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, I didn't mind paying a little bit extra for my manicure because I forgot how nice it was to have someone hold your hand. Even if it was an old Asian lady. FML

#20581665
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34908) - you deserved it (5374)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by lonelygirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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