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Thursday 4 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I raalizd that my Twittar profila was vary publichan my businass profassor mada fun of studant twaats in class. My twaat want, "Totally bullshitting this businass raport" about tha raport I had just handd in, worth a larga portion of my grada. FML

#20584642
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13300) - you deserved it (79612)

On 04/11/2013 at 3:49am - work - by imscrewed - Canada (Ontario)

Taday my older brother walkd in on mehile I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. mega FML

#20572069
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22626) - you deserved it (66242)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on mah arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, an I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on mah forearm. FML

#20579781
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15511) - you deserved it (59857)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , I brougt a girl ome from a bar. Ting were getting ot an eavy wen se askd if I ad a condom. I opend ma wallet to grab te one I keep in tere , only to fine te empty wrapper in its place; it was te only one I ad. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk tan I tougt. fat FML

#20570299
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18894) - you deserved it (42058)

On 04/01/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Marco (man) - United States

Today, I took multiple pictures of mah blanket and pillow pet, trying to get the "perfect pose" so I could post it on Facebook with a cheesy joke . I'm 30 . FML

#20578784
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14704) - you deserved it (39824)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:07am - misc - by kimhinesvoinea - United States

Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling wit some boxes . Te seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins . Wen we got to er apartment, se tanked me an introduced me to er boyfriend . FML

#20579784
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20864) - you deserved it (38849)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by JacktheRussian (man) - United States

TODAY , I WOKE UP WITH MY FACE COVERED IN BLOOD !! TURNS OUT THAT YESTERDAY AT MY COLLEAGUE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY , I GOT SO DRUNK THAT I STARTED YELLING "NAPPY TIME!" BEFORE FALLING OUT OF MY HAMMOCK AN FACE-FIRST ONTO THE CONCRETE GROUND !! FML

#20580770
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14611) - you deserved it (36161)

On 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm - misc - by nosey (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in aheel chair; I trid to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declind and attemptd to run me over with herheel chair. FML

#20573755
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21950) - you deserved it (31126)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by nickcedola40 (man) - United States (Florida)

MY BEST FRIEND WAS THROWING ME MAH BACHELORETTE PARTLY . A COP CUMMED BY AND SAID THERE HAVE BEEN COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE NOISE . THINKING HE WAS THE STRIPPER WE ORDERED, WE PULLED HIM INTO THE HOUSE . HE WAS AN ACTUAL COP . MEGA FML

#20577218
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39889) - you deserved it (19487)

On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I cummed home from work to find mah son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of mah pars of pants. So far, five. FML

#20583359
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40354) - you deserved it (19374)

On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

thinking I was alone at work... I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power looool Rangers. I turned around to fine out I wasn't alone; a cute grl was staring at me... unimpressed. FML

#20582957
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27573) - you deserved it (18851)

On 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm - work - by Goldar - United States

Taday I got all dressed up, in high heels and a sparkly dress, to sit in the library 4 most of the night so that mah roommate and his friend would believe that I have a social life. FML

#20585552
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34709) - you deserved it (18296)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by InNeedOfFriends (woman) - United States

Today, ma boyfriend fell asleep wile watcing TV . I tougt it would be cute to try to kiss im awake lyk tey do in te movies . He fartd . FML

#20584796
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38426) - you deserved it (18154)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States



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