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Tuesday 2 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm from eagerly scratching off a lottery ticket. No, I didn't win anything. FML

#20576976
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21155) - you deserved it (11254)

On 04/06/2013 at 12:59am - health - by Kotoko (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to give a 15-minute presentation for a conference. I hadn't had the time to write out a proper speech so I decided to just wing it. My sponsor liked my presentation so much he wants me to turn it into an article. Now if only I could remember what I said. FML

#20575166
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32693) - you deserved it (10594)

On 04/04/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by BrillianceSucks (woman) - Canada

Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML

#20582655
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28065) - you deserved it (10072)

On 04/09/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by WearingSomethingStringy (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I was proposed to, under the condition that I "get thin" first. FML

#20578323
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44793) - you deserved it (8809)

On 04/06/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by ziggers10 - United States

Today, I was chatting online with a guy I really like, when he used the word "irregardless." I couldn't help but mention how little sense it makes, since it's a combination of two words meaning roughly the same thing. He replied, "lol what? your stupid." Jesus Christ. FML

#20576546
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29278) - you deserved it (8644)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by pot, meet kettle (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my twelve year-old son thought it would be a good idea to relentlessly shoot the mail truck with a paintball gun in front of all the neighbors. FML

Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local family-owned business. Thanks, mom. FML

#20571565
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33095) - you deserved it (8244)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to get my car fixed. There was a vending machine in the waiting room, and I was hungry. The snacks were overpriced, but I still had a little money left over. I noticed a bag of Cheetos hanging loose, so I paid for them, hoping to get two bags. They both got stuck. FML

#20576079
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30138) - you deserved it (8078)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:34pm - money - by Z'ev - United States (New York)

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

#20581880
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60973) - you deserved it (7850)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML

#20576602
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43234) - you deserved it (7588)

On 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm - kids - by easteryegg (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML

#20573162
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29941) - you deserved it (7580)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by SoClose (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

#20571304
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33634) - you deserved it (7421)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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