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Monday 1 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to "focus on his career and his engagement." When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement, he immediately replied with, "No, I mean my other one." FML

#20569834
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40988) - you deserved it (2833)

On 04/01/2013 at 10:50am - love - by t.hughes (woman) - United States

Today, my husband told me to look for a honeymoon resort, since we had to cancel it last year. I looked everything up and got all excited. Just when I asked him for payment information, he said "April Fools!" April Fools was two days ago. FML

#20573157
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33489) - you deserved it (2801)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:50pm - love - by letdown13 - United States (New York)

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

#20571521
121 comments

Today, I was very worried about my girlfriend of two years. She has recently moved into her apartment, and I hadn't heard from her for four days. Don't worry, though, she's fine. According to her mother's Facebook, she moved in with her old boyfriend. FML

#20578406
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42216) - you deserved it (2639)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister was faced with the choice of getting a burger, or picking me up in a snowstorm. The burger won, and I had to travel 4km home by foot. FML

#20579065
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32447) - you deserved it (2452)

On 04/07/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37844) - you deserved it (2444)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML

#20577504
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28090) - you deserved it (2427)

On 04/06/2013 at 1:06pm - misc - by yeah why not (woman) - Norway

Today, it is my birthday. Since my parents are in the middle of a divorce, my mom thought it was perfectly reasonable to burn the gifts my dad got for me in the fireplace. FML

#20578709
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49287) - you deserved it (2402)

On 04/07/2013 at 5:19am - misc - by child of a crazed women (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML

#20571924
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34463) - you deserved it (2400)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by effiestonem154 (woman) - United States

Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML

#20574002
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32200) - you deserved it (2358)

On 04/03/2013 at 10:51pm - misc - by JaneDoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML

#20579736
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29894) - you deserved it (2030)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:00pm - animals - by idontevenlikehamsters - United States (Virginia)

Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML

#20581005
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36993) - you deserved it (1893)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, for my birthday, the only "gift" my parents gave me was the gift of choice: I got to choose which one of them I'll be living with after their upcoming divorce. This was the first time I'd heard anything about a divorce. FML

#20569388
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32583) - you deserved it (1818)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:03am - misc - by HappyBirthdayISuppose (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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