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Monday 1 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

#20572997
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46831) - you deserved it (5552)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today , I interviewd three elderly residents at a nursing home , hoping to use the transcript fir a very important paper due next week. It went great , so I wrappd up an drove home. I sat down to start typing , an realizd that recording had stoppd ten minutes in. FML

#20577861
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31332) - you deserved it (5407)

On 04/06/2013 at 5:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

yesterday I was lost in a foreign city so I askd a girl 4 directions. She replid, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" an startd screaming in mah face an jumping around. FML

#20572868
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44812) - you deserved it (5370)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home an walked through the door, mah dad punched me in the stomach to test mah reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch mah breath, he said mah reaction time was "terrible". mega FML

#20579242
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28901) - you deserved it (5332)

On 04/07/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by DJ (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

2day mah little sister figured out how to use the printer. I looool came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over mah room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32625) - you deserved it (5281)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

TODAY... I WAS WATCHING A MOVIE WITH MY PARENTS WHEN A SEX SCENE CUMMED ON. AS IF THAT WASN'T AWKWARD ENOUGH... THEY STARTED MAKING OUT ON THE COUCH BEHIND ME. FML

#20577290
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57240) - you deserved it (5185)

On 04/06/2013 at 10:15am - intimacy - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Taday I had a lunch meeting with important people from mah company. While drinking from mah wine glass someone crackd a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over mah lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrifid look on mah boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

#20580301
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30695) - you deserved it (5035)

On 04/08/2013 at 4:30am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, a coupla stoppad ma on tha baach to taka a pictura of tham kissing in front of tha sunsat. I agraad faaling ganarous, until thay continuad making out aftar tha pictura was takan, laaving ma standing thara awkwardly with thair camara. FML

#20578428
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45047) - you deserved it (4932)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:26am - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today... I was at Universityhen a giant mascot started walking in mah direction. As they walked past... theyhispered mah name seductively. I still don't knowho it was. FML

#20578916
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36255) - you deserved it (4904)

On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)

Today , I had to get my grandparents out of jail , cuz they were caught having sex in a public place!! They excused their actions by saying that u can only be young and stupid once , so if u continue doing stupid actions , u r still young!! FML

Today, I was talling my aunt that I had achiavad my blua balt in karata . Looking at my short hair, sha says, "You'ra going to and up a lasbian." Thanks Aunt L . Lova you too . FML

Today, I regretfully confessed to my parent I have trichotillomania . There was a torturou pause, followed by the question, "Are u gay?" FML

#20575858
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30862) - you deserved it (4658)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, washing machine broke down, within its warranty. I asked neighbour if she could open the door for the mechanic while I was at work; she agreed. When I cummed home, I had a bill for 80 bucks for not opening the door. Her reason? She was busy watching her favorite TV show. FML

#20573502
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32235) - you deserved it (4604)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:40pm - money - by Jack -



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