Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 29 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

#20575675
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33489) - you deserved it (3184)

On 04/05/2013 at 1:28am - misc - by slightlyworried (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I announced to my family that I got accepted into Harvard. My grandma laughed and muttered, "Liar." FML

#20567796
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41420) - you deserved it (3105)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

#20571521
122 comments

Today, I had to proof-read a terrible paper containing a bunch of mistakes. It took me 4 hours and I didn't eat dinner until I was done. His response when he got it back was, "What the fuck did you do to my paper?! You bitch!" FML

#20569253
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35823) - you deserved it (3087)

On 03/31/2013 at 10:59pm - misc - by pissed_off_girl - United States (Virginia)

Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML

#20566329
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41961) - you deserved it (2933)

On 03/30/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by ShellShocked - United States

Today, the highlight of my day was when I found that there was finally toilet paper in the cubicle at work. FML

#20563464
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28911) - you deserved it (2906)

On 03/28/2013 at 5:57am - work - by Paperboy (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML

Today, I was on a bumpy bus ride and had to write a note, so I held my notebook against the bus window to steady my hand. An elderly woman then yelled at me, accusing me of drawing graffiti on the window. The bus driver kicked me off and I had to wait an hour in the rain for the next bus. FML

#20561950
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36490) - you deserved it (2865)

On 03/27/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by 00sasori - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while working the drive-through, a woman ordered a large coffee with four creams. I handed her the coffee, and she took a sip. She then hurled it at me, screaming, "I said four creams, not five!" and sped off, leaving me drenched in hot coffee. FML

#20576074
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40081) - you deserved it (2851)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

#20567861
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43019) - you deserved it (2839)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43155) - you deserved it (2800)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML

#20563612
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36717) - you deserved it (2738)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:52am - health - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today, during a sex ed lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy and abortion from the school nurse. Throughout the session she kept repeating, "Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this." The nurse happens to know that my dad's a gynaecologist. That's not what everyone else in the year thinks. FML

#20559804
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45689) - you deserved it (2737)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Soph (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: