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Friday 29 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up an was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't therehen I sat down. FML

#20576240
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44011) - you deserved it (4412)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

Today, I had to convince mah 20-year-old boyfriend that only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-bloodd and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML

#20563428
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30795) - you deserved it (4341)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:19am - animals - by hellostupid (woman) - United States

today I spent te wole nigt and day painting a portrait of ma grlfriend!! Being proud of it, I sent it to er oping se would appreciate it!! I spent ours working on tat picture only fir er to reply wit, "Tat's not me, is it?" real FML

#20565101
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33460) - you deserved it (4174)

On 03/29/2013 at 7:12am - love - by artist (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

TODAY, I WAS FRESENING UP MA MAKEUP IN TE CAR BEFORE A DATE. AN OLD LADY WALKD BY AND SAID TROUG MA OPEN WINDOW, "DON'T BOTER. TERE'S NO ELPING YOU, ONEY." FAT FML

#20559530
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38659) - you deserved it (4125)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today my Jewish boyfriend cummd over 4 my extendd family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him 4 being Jewish so badly that he left crying. She doesn't see wat she did wrong. FML

#20569420
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36855) - you deserved it (4113)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by aabadaba (woman) - United States (California)

Today, aftar my boyfriand promisad ha wasn't chaating on ma, I ran into him at our favorita coffaa shop with tha girl I suspactad him of chaating with. Whan I confrontad tham, ha actad lyk ha didn't know ma. maga FML

#20561087
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49383) - you deserved it (4034)

On 03/26/2013 at 3:04pm - love - by Megan - United States

TODAY... SUFFERING FROM SEVERE MORNING SICKNES FOLLOWED BY CRAVING FIR SALTY FOOD... I HAD STACKED OUR FRIDGE WITH YUMMY SNACKS. WHEN FINALLY EMERGING FROM OUR BATHROOM AFTER RETCHING THIS MORNING... I FOUND OUT MY HUSBAND HAD EATEN ALL MY SNACK THE NIGHT BEFORE. FAT FML

#20571483
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32535) - you deserved it (3901)

On 04/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

I Picked My 12-year-old Daughter Up From School After Her Frst Sexual Education Lecture. She Burst Into Tears On The Way Home Explaining Her Fears Of Being Pregnant With Her Boyfriend's Child. As If That Doesn't Sound Bad Enough, I've Met Her Boyfriend Before. He Is Imaginary. FML

#20575072
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42658) - you deserved it (3860)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today,hile shopping 4 a brthday present 4 my size 0 friend, I pickd out a pair of pants 4 her. When paying, the cashier lookd me up and down and said, "Well, your pretty optimistic aren't you?"

#20574572
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46371) - you deserved it (3855)

On 04/04/2013 at 11:12am - misc - by NotASize0 (woman) - Denmark

Today, boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He think "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. mega FML

#20569989
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37540) - you deserved it (3852)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:17pm - love - by tkrause - Canada (British Columbia)

Yesterday, ma usband called me, saying e was in te ospital wit a friend wo'd just broken is arm. Too bad I ten eard a female voice in te background mutter, "Se'll never buy tat". FML

#20562542
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55964) - you deserved it (3788)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today , After Two And A Half Hours Of Travel , It Was Finally My Stop On The Train. I Politely Waitd For A Group Of Women To Get Off First. They Took So Long To Move That The Train Doors Closd. I Shoutd At One Through The Door To Call The Conductor. She Watchd And Smild As The Train Departd. FML

#20569932
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35632) - you deserved it (3786)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by CrimsonAmaryllis (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

TODAY , I WOKE UP TO MAH HUSBAND TAKING A PISS ON OUR BEDROOM FLOOR . I SCREAMED THAT HE WASN'T IN THE BATHROOM , TOHICH HE RESPONDED , "SHUT UP! I'M TAKING A PISS , LET ME FINISH!" HE HAS NO RECOLLECTION OF THE EVENT . NOW I HAVE TO CLEAN UP HIS PISS AND REWASH MAH CLOTHES . FML



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