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Friday 29 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59110) - you deserved it (5972)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

Today, I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML

#20572944
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24747) - you deserved it (5950)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML

#20559101
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33198) - you deserved it (5815)

On 03/25/2013 at 4:48am - money - by PrayingForMoney - United States (California)

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

#20562430
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48627) - you deserved it (5563)

On 03/27/2013 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

#20572997
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46654) - you deserved it (5542)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML

#20562509
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37719) - you deserved it (5530)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by InfamousLastWord (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a goodbye dinner with friends before I move back to America. A friend called to cry over relationship problems she refuses to fix. While I was outside trying to politely get off the phone, my friends ate and drank everything I'd ordered and closed the bill. FML

#20559208
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30035) - you deserved it (5430)

On 03/25/2013 at 9:13am - misc - by sorryyouweregone - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41033) - you deserved it (5321)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32493) - you deserved it (5266)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, the girl I thought I was dating got into a fight with me over the phone. She did this because she bet her boyfriend that she could make me cry on FaceTime. She won the bet. FML

#20567223
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35298) - you deserved it (5214)

On 03/30/2013 at 6:22pm - love - by J. Homen - United States

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

#20572868
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43120) - you deserved it (5209)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

#20567905
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39918) - you deserved it (5179)

On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, "He needs to get out more." FML



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