Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Thursday 28 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

#20572997
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46831) - you deserved it (5552)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Yesterday, I Was Violently Throwing Up Due To Severe Morning Sickness!! My Boyfriend Looked At Me, Then Turned An Walked Away!! In The End, My Daughter Gave Me Some Paper Towel An Her Juice!! My 18-month-old Is More Supportive Of My Pregnancy Than Her 30-year-old Father!! Mega FML

#20562509
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37904) - you deserved it (5546)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by InfamousLastWord (woman) - United States

Today, I cummed home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home mah 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick yur ass." The babby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42164) - you deserved it (5453)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the grl I thought I was dating got into a fight with me over the phone. She did this cuz she bet her boyfriend that she could make me cry on FaceTime. She won the bet. FML

#20567223
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37012) - you deserved it (5381)

On 03/30/2013 at 6:22pm - love - by J. Homen - United States

yesterday I was lost in a foreign city so I askd a girl 4 directions. She replid, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" an startd screaming in mah face an jumping around. FML

#20572868
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44812) - you deserved it (5370)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY, MAH DAUGHTER GOT SELECTED TO PICK MUSIC 4 A FUNERAL. SHE ONLY LISTEN TO NIKKI MINAJ. BIG FAT FML

#20560709
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37623) - you deserved it (5349)

On 03/26/2013 at 7:40am - kids - by bear - Australia (New South Wales)

yesterday I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, ( He needs to get out more. ) mega FML

2day mah little sister figured out how to use the printer. I looool came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over mah room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32625) - you deserved it (5281)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that 4 some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except 4 four, and they are doing there best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

#20567905
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40836) - you deserved it (5268)

On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today , I went to visit some family out of state 4 my niece's birthday. I couldn't think ofhat to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money , iPods , game consoles , etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it awayhen she couldn't. FML

#20568124
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47124) - you deserved it (4858)

On 03/31/2013 at 9:32am - kids - by The_Black_Jesus - United States

Today... mah nieghbours came to yell at me as they could hear mah "shit music" through mah window during the afternoon... so I turned it off. They then began to play there definition of "quality music" into the late hours of the night. I was listening to the Beatles. They blasted Nicki Minaj. real FML

#20567871
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52409) - you deserved it (4854)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:24am - misc - by BornInTheWrongEra (woman) - United States

Today, while on the way to Florida fir spring break, I pointed out to mah mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mrror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. real FML

#20565452
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40156) - you deserved it (4721)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out I'm failing school. Why am I failing? Because I work 60 hours a week. Why do I work 60 hours a week? To pay 4 school. mega FML

#20563641
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45055) - you deserved it (4711)

On 03/28/2013 at 10:26am - work - by school issues - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: