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Thursday 28 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML

#20562925
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9195) - you deserved it (66828)

On 03/27/2013 at 9:02pm - misc - by Hahamaster333 -

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22534) - you deserved it (66135)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

#20559522
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10390) - you deserved it (62906)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:31pm - health - by anon - United States

Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML

#20566415
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15139) - you deserved it (56457)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)

Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML

#20563782
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19974) - you deserved it (54373)

On 03/28/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by not funny but :( (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20395) - you deserved it (51130)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

#20570299
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18417) - you deserved it (41374)

On 04/01/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Marco (man) - United States

Today, after getting a new haircut, I decided to take a few photos. I set up my iPhone in my room and began posing. It wasn't until numerous shots later that I realized my phone had posted every picture to Facebook, and they were all over everyone's newsfeed. FML

#20561054
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16151) - you deserved it (41103)

On 03/26/2013 at 2:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML

#20564827
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15776) - you deserved it (31404)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I showed my aunt and mother my tattoo. They both burst out laughing. FML

#20562807
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13162) - you deserved it (31166)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by anon - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in a wheel chair; I tried to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declined and attempted to run me over with her wheel chair. FML

#20573755
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21056) - you deserved it (29970)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by nickcedola40 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

#20563419
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39395) - you deserved it (22680)

On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -

Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML

#20564779
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42317) - you deserved it (19381)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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