Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Tuesday 26 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML

#20562925
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8659) - you deserved it (64067)

On 03/27/2013 at 9:02pm - misc - by Hahamaster333 -

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19339) - you deserved it (59145)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

#20559522
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9310) - you deserved it (58908)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:31pm - health - by anon - United States

Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML

#20566415
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14397) - you deserved it (54645)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)

Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML

#20563782
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18924) - you deserved it (52141)

On 03/28/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by not funny but :( (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18368) - you deserved it (48192)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, after getting a new haircut, I decided to take a few photos. I set up my iPhone in my room and began posing. It wasn't until numerous shots later that I realized my phone had posted every picture to Facebook, and they were all over everyone's newsfeed. FML

#20561054
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15428) - you deserved it (39644)

On 03/26/2013 at 2:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

#20570299
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15603) - you deserved it (37520)

On 04/01/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Marco (man) - United States

Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML

#20564827
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15181) - you deserved it (30400)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I showed my aunt and mother my tattoo. They both burst out laughing. FML

#20562807
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10659) - you deserved it (22978)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by anon - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

#20563419
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35866) - you deserved it (21269)

On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -

Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his hotel room together. On the way up, he asked me how much it would cost. FML

#20564361
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41141) - you deserved it (18070)

On 03/28/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Hooker (woman) - United States

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

#20564455
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38384) - you deserved it (16525)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: