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Tuesday 26 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML

#20564269
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46099) - you deserved it (3217)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Hellosinglelife (man) - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

#20565029
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36433) - you deserved it (3170)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:23am - work - by CoolStoryBro -

Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML

#20572312
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34575) - you deserved it (3090)

On 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

#20561241
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27159) - you deserved it (3079)

On 03/26/2013 at 5:17pm - animals - by whykarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML

#20560852
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48657) - you deserved it (3032)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

#20570966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43164) - you deserved it (3031)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML

#20566421
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34548) - you deserved it (3009)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the money that my wife claims went into repairing her car engine actually is going towards helping her pay for a divorce. FML

#20564887
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35354) - you deserved it (3008)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:37am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML

#20559286
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36630) - you deserved it (2912)

On 03/25/2013 at 10:48am - love - by Faaccckkk (woman) - United States

Today, I announced to my family that I got accepted into Harvard. My grandma laughed and muttered, "Liar." FML

#20567796
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37573) - you deserved it (2823)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

#20571521
121 comments

Today, I had to proof-read a terrible paper containing a bunch of mistakes. It took me 4 hours and I didn't eat dinner until I was done. His response when he got it back was, "What the fuck did you do to my paper?! You bitch!" FML

#20569253
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32080) - you deserved it (2792)

On 03/31/2013 at 10:59pm - misc - by pissed_off_girl - United States (Virginia)

Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML

#20566329
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38260) - you deserved it (2669)

On 03/30/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by ShellShocked - United States



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