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Friday 22 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

#20558609
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9327) - you deserved it (82321) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/24/2013 at 7:01pm - animals - by BaliTheDog - France

Today, I had an interview for a job I really wanted. On my resume, I wrote that I speak conversational Spanish, although I don't. When I arrived for the interview, my interviewer decided to conduct it in Spanish. FML

#20549811
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6973) - you deserved it (76551)

On 03/18/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by nohablaespanol - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML

#20562925
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8659) - you deserved it (64078)

On 03/27/2013 at 9:02pm - misc - by Hahamaster333 -

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

#20559522
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9309) - you deserved it (58913)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:31pm - health - by anon - United States

Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML

#20563782
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18928) - you deserved it (52147)

On 03/28/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by not funny but :( (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML

#20548954
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11500) - you deserved it (48780)

On 03/18/2013 at 5:17am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after getting a new haircut, I decided to take a few photos. I set up my iPhone in my room and began posing. It wasn't until numerous shots later that I realized my phone had posted every picture to Facebook, and they were all over everyone's newsfeed. FML

#20561054
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15429) - you deserved it (39658)

On 03/26/2013 at 2:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML

#20551577
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9515) - you deserved it (38430)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. He stared at me, then said "Yeah, okay then. I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun. Not quite the response I was hoping for. FML

#20556604
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18657) - you deserved it (35072)

On 03/23/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my family and I were visiting an aunt. While helping my aunt to set the table, my sister remarked that from behind I look exactly like her. I reflexively blurted out "well fuck you too". Very awkward silence. FML

#20557009
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10556) - you deserved it (34069)

On 03/23/2013 at 8:38pm - misc - by Kjer (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML

#20564827
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15184) - you deserved it (30401)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found myself arguing with a 6-year-old over a game of tag. FML

#20552543
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13584) - you deserved it (29464)

On 03/20/2013 at 6:08pm - kids - by tspence - United States (Ohio)

Today, my department found out that we're getting a new supervisor for the third time this month. I joked about how we're like "the foster kid nobody wants." One of my coworkers burst into tears and ran off. I later found out that she had been a foster child and never once had a stable home. FML

#20550513
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31901) - you deserved it (26054)

On 03/19/2013 at 5:59am - work - by Luke - United States (New York)



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