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Thursday 21 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML

#20562542
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55963) - you deserved it (3787)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I had to present a project for my science class. I began explaining my project; looking at all the bored people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness then caused me to laugh hysterically, causing my classmates to laugh. My teacher felt sorry for me and told me to sit down. FML

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I really feel about her, due in no small part to how flirty she's been towards me lately. Turns out she's really just a skank and was trying to make my best friend "jealous". He's gay. FML

#20553905
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36514) - you deserved it (3655)

On 03/21/2013 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I woke up with a giant red rash all over my face, so puffed up that I could hardly open my eyes. The doctor said it was probably from some of the compounds found in most makeup. I'm just getting into theatre and have auditions coming up. FML

#20549343
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30944) - you deserved it (3603)

On 03/18/2013 at 2:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, we started our 17 hour drive to Michigan for spring break. My mom decided to go to Target to buy some music CDs. All she bought was three Nicki Minaj CDs. She has already replayed the first CD four times. 14 hours to go. FML

#20551039
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39174) - you deserved it (3584)

On 03/19/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by :( - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

#20560819
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31231) - you deserved it (3557)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35726) - you deserved it (3483)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

#20561443
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33163) - you deserved it (3410)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my superstitious girlfriend of 4 years sneezed in the middle of my proposal. She claimed it was a sign from the universe for us to break up and then immediately left. FML

#20550300
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44757) - you deserved it (3387)

On 03/19/2013 at 12:40am - love - by lanz4949 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

#20553491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37696) - you deserved it (3386)

On 03/21/2013 at 9:31am - misc - by WetWalking - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44377) - you deserved it (3295)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML

#20564269
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47088) - you deserved it (3294)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Hellosinglelife (man) - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

#20556107
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50214) - you deserved it (3217)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)



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