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Friday 15 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was on the subway when I felt like I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people, who had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. FML

#20554927
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33092) - you deserved it (2842)

On 03/22/2013 at 11:42am - health - by wowthanksworld - United States

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

#20540639
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31208) - you deserved it (2804)

On 03/12/2013 at 10:05am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my grandson visited me, and asked if I had any pictures of myself from when I was a little girl. I happily looked for a few photos to give him, asking what had piqued his curiosity. He replied that he wanted some for a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages. FML

#20555821
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33456) - you deserved it (2804) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/22/2013 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Lorraine)

Today, I found a purse in the school bathroom. When I looked inside, there was an iPod along with some other expensive stuff in it. I took it to the office so the right owner would get it back. The owner passed me in the hall on the way there; she freaked out and punched me in the face. FML

#20551761
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42280) - you deserved it (2763)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:55am - misc - by really? (woman) - United States

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML

#20551525
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46287) - you deserved it (2762)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

#20539367
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28245) - you deserved it (2757)

On 03/11/2013 at 10:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my 2-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old husband both woke me up in the early hours of the morning. Their complaints were the same: they'd both wet the bed. FML

#20555313
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35761) - you deserved it (2755)

On 03/22/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by sickness and health my sphincter (woman) - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML

#20541052
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37872) - you deserved it (2749)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the lump in my wrist that keeps getting inflamed and sore is caused by sketching and using my laptop too much. Good thing I'm in my fourth year of studying to become a designer. FML

#20546879
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31040) - you deserved it (2739)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad came out of jail. He showed me his tattoo of a bible on his chest with all his 13 kids' names on it. I'm the only one whose name is spelled wrong. FML

#20554618
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35659) - you deserved it (2658)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by XoxoChula - United States

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

#20538947
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32587) - you deserved it (2592)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by marcymoo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

#20547346
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36802) - you deserved it (2588)

On 03/17/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend left me because our "political views don't match" when I told her we needed to share house chores now that we live together. I know, I'm lost too. FML

#20551507
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31338) - you deserved it (2561)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:08pm - love - by dca101 (man) - United States



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