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Friday 15 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my fiancé had to perform his first prostate exam. He told me he was quite nervous about it, so I reminded him that he did fine on his first pelvic exam last month. His response: "Yeah, but I've had my hands up plenty of vaginas already." FML

#20540823
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34738) - you deserved it (5487)

On 03/12/2013 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

#20545240
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43419) - you deserved it (5352)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML

#20542666
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33473) - you deserved it (5217)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I spent an entire raffle game desperately praying that I'd lose miserably, just so I wouldn't have to go up on stage and accept it. FML

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33414) - you deserved it (5045)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I went out to Applebees with a girl I like and a group of friends. Someone asked if the girl and I were dating. She instantly replied with a bit of disgust "What? No way, never!" It would have been nice to know before paying for the last ten or so dates we went on. FML

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

#20543064
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27704) - you deserved it (4925)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:21am - health - by Kimberpoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML

#20552400
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41083) - you deserved it (4814)

On 03/20/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Tired (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend found out about my severe phobia of moths. It's so bad that I sometimes pass out. He caught a moth in a jar, and put it on my bedside table. I woke up, saw it, and had a panic attack. He recorded it all and wants to upload it to YouTube. FML

#20544812
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35526) - you deserved it (4782)

On 03/15/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I returned from a 5-day cruise for my senior spring break, filled with gorgeous sorority girls from all over the country. I was seasick the whole time. FML

#20553243
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28782) - you deserved it (4701)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:59am - misc - by captainlame (man) - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a chicken nugget fetish. He wants me to take a chicken nugget bath in a bikini. He seems to be dead serious. FML

#20549296
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44249) - you deserved it (4546)

On 03/18/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by chickenmcnuggetgirl (woman) - Ireland (Meath)

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

#20541069
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34454) - you deserved it (4451)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after six months of writing a 40 page paper criticizing a famous method, I found out the professor who conceived it has transferred to my favorite college to head the department I'm applying to study in. They require I submit the paper with my application. FML

#20548512
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31663) - you deserved it (4440)

On 03/17/2013 at 11:09pm - work - by GeoKid (man) - Canada



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