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Friday 15 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML

#20543142
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43097) - you deserved it (7686)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided we are to the point in our relationship that it's considered acceptable to take a dump while I'm in there showering. FML

Today, I have the flu. I had to wash the dishes, cook dinner, take out the trash, and take care of the laundry, all while my wife sat around watching TV, because she was "too tired". I work 8 hours a day. She's a college student. She doesn't see what's so unfair about this. FML

#20546221
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34139) - you deserved it (7063)

On 03/16/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my family I was divorcing my husband. My little sister asked if "we can keep him instead". FML

#20546016
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31534) - you deserved it (6901)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I got laid off. Walking out of the building, I saw someone on crutches and thought, "Hey, at least I can still walk." Two hours later, I blew out my knee playing basketball. FML

#20551437
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29559) - you deserved it (6898)

On 03/19/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

#20555478
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30094) - you deserved it (6831)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about my terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML

#20542127
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25363) - you deserved it (6742)

On 03/13/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by marisacb (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML

#20549483
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31356) - you deserved it (6736)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:30pm - health - by thisentiretime... - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me and reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML

#20547328
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30225) - you deserved it (6498)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:25am - kids - by hejdixjeln - United States (Illinois)

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

#20544424
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47771) - you deserved it (6427)

On 03/15/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by ipaid350dollarsfornothing - Qatar

Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML

#20555131
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28659) - you deserved it (6396)

On 03/22/2013 at 3:15pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Calabria)

Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML

#20540616
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48572) - you deserved it (6348)

On 03/12/2013 at 9:22am - intimacy - by kenleybunch - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's my third night of finally living on my own in a house. I can't count the number of times I have run to my knife and pepper spray after hearing "suspicious" sounds. Maybe I'm not ready to be an adult after all. FML

#20550428
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24065) - you deserved it (6320)

On 03/19/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by nearly20yetasfearfulasatoddlerhavingnightmares (woman) - United States (Texas)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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