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Friday 15 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML

#20543142
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48498) - you deserved it (8346)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

#20552081
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28091) - you deserved it (8039)

On 03/20/2013 at 10:31am - work - by missedfistbump - United States

Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML

#20542189
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48520) - you deserved it (7841)

On 03/13/2013 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by WhyDoINeedAName - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I have the flu. I had to wash the dishes, cook dinner, take out the trash, and take care of the laundry, all while my wife sat around watching TV, because she was "too tired". I work 8 hours a day. She's a college student. She doesn't see what's so unfair about this. FML

#20546221
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39510) - you deserved it (7822)

On 03/16/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got laid off. Walking out of the building, I saw someone on crutches and thought, "Hey, at least I can still walk." Two hours later, I blew out my knee playing basketball. FML

#20551437
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34446) - you deserved it (7747)

On 03/19/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend decided we are to the point in our relationship that it's considered acceptable to take a dump while I'm in there showering. FML

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

#20555478
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34264) - you deserved it (7474)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told my family I was divorcing my husband. My little sister asked if "we can keep him instead". FML

#20546016
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35490) - you deserved it (7355)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about my terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML

#20542127
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29202) - you deserved it (7285)

On 03/13/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by marisacb (woman) - United States

Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML

#20540616
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56648) - you deserved it (7280)

On 03/12/2013 at 9:22am - intimacy - by kenleybunch - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML

#20549483
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34928) - you deserved it (7264)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:30pm - health - by thisentiretime... - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML

#20555131
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32783) - you deserved it (7005)

On 03/22/2013 at 3:15pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Calabria)

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

#20543365
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54110) - you deserved it (6896)

On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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