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Thursday 14 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while serving two middle-aged women at the coffee shop, I was screamed at and accused of being a "sexist and chauvinistic bastard." This was prompted by me charging one of them 40 cents for the addition of steamed milk, which is clearly stated on the price sheet. FML

#20547816
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27805) - you deserved it (2067)

On 03/17/2013 at 3:00pm - work - by innocentbarista (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML

#20546113
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24758) - you deserved it (2038)

On 03/16/2013 at 1:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

#20544337
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41089) - you deserved it (2031)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML

#20554170
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40392) - you deserved it (1982)

On 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm - love - by SmallAngel (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a guy left flowers on my doorstep. I got home to find my dad claiming he bought them for my mum. I told my parents they were mine, they laughed in my face. FML

#20551968
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28313) - you deserved it (1941)

On 03/20/2013 at 6:59am - love - by lp525252 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML

#20551525
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38894) - you deserved it (1934)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

#20539367
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22540) - you deserved it (1793)

On 03/11/2013 at 10:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I found a purse in the school bathroom. When I looked inside, there was an iPod along with some other expensive stuff in it. I took it to the office so the right owner would get it back. The owner passed me in the hall on the way there; she freaked out and punched me in the face. FML

#20551761
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35435) - you deserved it (1725)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:55am - misc - by really? (woman) - United States

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

#20538947
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26504) - you deserved it (1689)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by marcymoo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I moved back to my home town. My best friend and I had arranged to rent a house together that we both liked. I finished my last day at work and made the three-hour drive, only for her to break down and tell me that she isn't "ready" to move out of her parents' basement. She's 25. FML

#20540831
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26516) - you deserved it (1687)

On 03/12/2013 at 2:35pm - misc - by Hopelesshomeless (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

#20540639
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24720) - you deserved it (1646)

On 03/12/2013 at 10:05am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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