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Thursday 14 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had an looool interview fir a job I really wanted. On mah resume, I wrote that I speak conversational Spanish, although I don't. When I arrived fir the interview, mah interviewer decided to conduct it in Spanish. mega FML

#20549811
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8085) - you deserved it (83578)

On 03/18/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by nohablaespanol - United States (Texas)

Today... I figured I needed to clean ma room. I ended up finding ma $135 calculator tat I'd accused ma ex-boyfriend of selling fir gas money. Tat's also te reason I dumped im. FML

#20539612
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9506) - you deserved it (69647)

On 03/11/2013 at 2:56pm - money - by supertango500 (woman) - United States

Today Of Tha Two IDs I Possass, I Handd Tha Cop That Pulld Ma Ovar Tha Faka Ona. FML

#20545967
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9738) - you deserved it (65276)

On 03/16/2013 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, Mah Boyfriend Still Won't Talk To Me, After I Caused Him The "worst Embarrassment" Of His Life In Front Of His Friends. What Did I Do Wrong? I Joined Their Conversation And Ended Up Confusing The Fictional Characters Of Gollum And Yoda With One Another. FML

#20545430
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16024) - you deserved it (57904) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Centre)

Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. fat FML

#20548954
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13195) - you deserved it (52622)

On 03/18/2013 at 5:17am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not bieng able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33091) - you deserved it (50996) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, Mah Grlfriend Was Giving Me Head During The Horror Flick We Were Watching. Little Did I Know, Mah Grlfriend Isn't A Big Fan Of Horror Films. It Was During A Sex Scene That Intensified The Moment. The Same Sex Scene From Which Emerged A Sudden Jump-scare. I Now Have Bite Marks On Mah Penis. Mega FML

#20547294
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29464) - you deserved it (50874)

On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -

Today , tinking my girlfriend ad left er little black tong in te dryer to tease me , I sent er a picture of me seductively posing wit it. Se didn't text back , but a few ours later my 16 year old daugter askd if se'd left anyting in te dryer. FML

#20539833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22583) - you deserved it (48924)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years . I also found out later that symbol stands for urine . FML

#20539190
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9117) - you deserved it (46520)

On 03/11/2013 at 3:43am - misc - by PeeLeg (woman) -

yesterday mah sink seemd to be filling up with drty water. Concernd, I turnd on the garbage disposal and plungd away. With no change in the water levels, I calld a plumber. He reachd in, pulld out the drain plug, and give me his billhile chuckling to himself. FML

#20551577
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10565) - you deserved it (41358)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today , I had a job interview. I didn't have any cloths suitable 4 the interview , so I went to the store early and bought some there. After the interview , I went to return the clothes , because they were so expensive. The hiring manager saw me. FML

#20541999
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16204) - you deserved it (40785)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:14pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, as I exitd McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching handbag right off shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhaustd before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. real FML

#20543184
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18211) - you deserved it (35423)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:52am - health - by jen (woman) - United States

Today... I found myself arguing with a 6-year-old over a game of tag. FML

#20552543
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14981) - you deserved it (31596)

On 03/20/2013 at 6:08pm - kids - by tspence - United States (Ohio)



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