Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Thursday 14 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

#20543064
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26805) - you deserved it (4835)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:21am - health - by Kimberpoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend found out about my severe phobia of moths. It's so bad that I sometimes pass out. He caught a moth in a jar, and put it on my bedside table. I woke up, saw it, and had a panic attack. He recorded it all and wants to upload it to YouTube. FML

#20544812
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33230) - you deserved it (4535)

On 03/15/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I returned from a 5-day cruise for my senior spring break, filled with gorgeous sorority girls from all over the country. I was seasick the whole time. FML

#20553243
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26725) - you deserved it (4432)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:59am - misc - by captainlame (man) - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a chicken nugget fetish. He wants me to take a chicken nugget bath in a bikini. He seems to be dead serious. FML

#20549296
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42044) - you deserved it (4321)

On 03/18/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by chickenmcnuggetgirl (woman) - Ireland (Meath)

Today, after six months of writing a 40 page paper criticizing a famous method, I found out the professor who conceived it has transferred to my favorite college to head the department I'm applying to study in. They require I submit the paper with my application. FML

#20548512
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29658) - you deserved it (4228)

On 03/17/2013 at 11:09pm - work - by GeoKid (man) - Canada

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when my upstairs neighbor decided to take the longest piss known to man. He moaned the entire time. FML

#20545680
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36258) - you deserved it (4141)

On 03/16/2013 at 2:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, being too poor to buy makeup, I walked into Macy's and "tested" some products out, just so I could look nice for my job interview. FML

#20541897
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33325) - you deserved it (4038)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML

#20551821
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23055) - you deserved it (3942)

On 03/20/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML

#20550555
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38253) - you deserved it (3863)

On 03/19/2013 at 7:30am - intimacy - by soontobesingle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was walking with my boyfriend, holding hands, a woman began screaming at us about how we "f*ggots" are "ruining America." I'm a girl. FML

#20551759
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33732) - you deserved it (3730)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:54am - love - by Too manly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

#20542468
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37687) - you deserved it (3682)

On 03/13/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my cat giving birth, on my bed. I adopted her from a friend, who told me she was spayed. Now I have a giant mess and a cat who won't let me move either her or her babies. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38459) - you deserved it (3564)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: