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Thursday 14 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML

#20543142
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45451) - you deserved it (7964)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States

Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML

#20542189
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45290) - you deserved it (7461)

On 03/13/2013 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by WhyDoINeedAName - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I have the flu. I had to wash the dishes, cook dinner, take out the trash, and take care of the laundry, all while my wife sat around watching TV, because she was "too tired". I work 8 hours a day. She's a college student. She doesn't see what's so unfair about this. FML

#20546221
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36585) - you deserved it (7406)

On 03/16/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend decided we are to the point in our relationship that it's considered acceptable to take a dump while I'm in there showering. FML

Today, I got laid off. Walking out of the building, I saw someone on crutches and thought, "Hey, at least I can still walk." Two hours later, I blew out my knee playing basketball. FML

#20551437
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31705) - you deserved it (7272)

On 03/19/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I told my family I was divorcing my husband. My little sister asked if "we can keep him instead". FML

#20546016
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32811) - you deserved it (7036)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about my terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML

#20542127
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27105) - you deserved it (6980)

On 03/13/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by marisacb (woman) - United States

Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML

#20540616
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52995) - you deserved it (6886)

On 03/12/2013 at 9:22am - intimacy - by kenleybunch - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML

#20549483
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32289) - you deserved it (6881)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:30pm - health - by thisentiretime... - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me and reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML

#20547328
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32693) - you deserved it (6801)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:25am - kids - by hejdixjeln - United States (Illinois)

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

#20544424
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49262) - you deserved it (6571)

On 03/15/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by ipaid350dollarsfornothing - Qatar

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

#20543365
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50829) - you deserved it (6557)

On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, for the sixth time in a row, I was driving my kid to school and he made me late for work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML

#20551973
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43706) - you deserved it (6090)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:07am - intimacy - by Why son, why? (man) - United States



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