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Friday 8 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML

#20543142
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43103) - you deserved it (7687)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to confess my feelings to the guy I have loved for a year now in a long note. He called half an hour later and said, "I'm not going to read this crap, just tell me what it says". FML

#20535268
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29735) - you deserved it (7025)

On 03/07/2013 at 10:53pm - love - by hoolabaloo (woman) - India (Gujarat)

Today, I was reciting lines for a play that I'm in. It was going great, until I realized that I was actually reciting my scripted sales pitch from my telemarketing job. FML

#20533106
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20663) - you deserved it (6960)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:44am - misc - by sales ham (man) - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about my terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML

#20542127
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25363) - you deserved it (6742)

On 03/13/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by marisacb (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

#20544424
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47773) - you deserved it (6427)

On 03/15/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by ipaid350dollarsfornothing - Qatar

Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML

#20530703
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28747) - you deserved it (6381)

On 03/04/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML

#20540616
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48585) - you deserved it (6349)

On 03/12/2013 at 9:22am - intimacy - by kenleybunch - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

#20534043
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26617) - you deserved it (6139)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

#20538066
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46583) - you deserved it (5832)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm - kids - by Amanda - Canada

Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

#20543365
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43185) - you deserved it (5623)

On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML

#20530380
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42863) - you deserved it (5535)

On 03/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nopanties (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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