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Thursday 7 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... I figured I needed to clean ma room. I ended up finding ma $135 calculator tat I'd accused ma ex-boyfriend of selling fir gas money. Tat's also te reason I dumped im. FML

#20539612
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9506) - you deserved it (69647)

On 03/11/2013 at 2:56pm - money - by supertango500 (woman) - United States

TODAY, WANTING TO IMPRESS DATE, I BULLSHITTD HER ABOUT HOW I WAS AN ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENTIST. SHE GOT SO IMPRESSD THAT SHE INVITD ME OVER TO HER PLACE. NOT HER HOME, HER OFFICE. SO THAT I COULD GIVE HER POINTERS ON HER CURRENT PROJECT. SHE'S A REAL ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENTIST. FML

#20531914
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8879) - you deserved it (68197)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:48am - work - by is there a environmental scientist in the house? - United States (California)

Today a technician from my ISP cummed to my house to replace my router. He asked fir a glass of water one thing led to another an fir some reason I'll never fully understand we ended up having sex. Looks lyk porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. fat FML

#20537010
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21842) - you deserved it (62049)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up to discover that looool the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16955) - you deserved it (54792)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not bieng able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33091) - you deserved it (50996) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today , tinking my girlfriend ad left er little black tong in te dryer to tease me , I sent er a picture of me seductively posing wit it. Se didn't text back , but a few ours later my 16 year old daugter askd if se'd left anyting in te dryer. FML

#20539833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22583) - you deserved it (48924)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years . I also found out later that symbol stands for urine . FML

#20539190
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9117) - you deserved it (46520)

On 03/11/2013 at 3:43am - misc - by PeeLeg (woman) -

Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up an loudly askd if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretendd I was deaf an couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML

#20538296
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13865) - you deserved it (44552)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:54pm - misc - by human lava lamp (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

today I sant mah grlfriand a taxt saying.. . ( Your tha bast grlfriand any man could hava.. . and I think I may ba in lova with you . ) Tan minutas latar.. . sha raspondd with.. . ( *you'ra ) . FML

#20530358
185 comments

Today , I had a job interview. I didn't have any cloths suitable 4 the interview , so I went to the store early and bought some there. After the interview , I went to return the clothes , because they were so expensive. The hiring manager saw me. FML

#20541999
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16204) - you deserved it (40785)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:14pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I want to tha stora 4 a warranty claim on my prascription glassas dua to littla spots that had appaarad on tha lansas, covaring both. It took 2 saconds 4 tha amployaa to datarmina that it was hairspray. FML

#20534438
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6991) - you deserved it (38774)

On 03/07/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by jmrz - Puerto Rico

Today, my boyfriend an I were on my bed when things started getting hot an it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to ( the frogs in the wall ). FML

#20537793
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19490) - you deserved it (37175)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:41am - intimacy - by lolk - United States (Arkansas)

Today, as I exitd McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching handbag right off shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhaustd before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. real FML

#20543184
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18211) - you deserved it (35423)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:52am - health - by jen (woman) - United States



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