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Thursday 7 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML

#20531724
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36976) - you deserved it (4463)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:08am - misc - by goodgrief (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

#20538233
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45408) - you deserved it (4447)

On 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm - love - by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall (woman) - Cyprus (Nicosia)

Today, instead of actually teaching us something, our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends. FML

#20533295
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30606) - you deserved it (4441)

On 03/06/2013 at 6:51am - work - by Will this stupid fad ever end? (man) - United States

Today, being too poor to buy makeup, I walked into Macy's and "tested" some products out, just so I could look nice for my job interview. FML

#20541897
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37125) - you deserved it (4405)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML

#20531751
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45267) - you deserved it (4365)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML

#20531130
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34063) - you deserved it (4344)

On 03/04/2013 at 5:24pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

#20541893
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38273) - you deserved it (4248)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States

Today, my 20-year-old came whining to me, asking why his job interviews keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. FML

#20533491
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29837) - you deserved it (4086)

On 03/06/2013 at 1:04pm - kids - by ProudMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, I met a guy in a bar. He was sweet and funny so I asked him out for coffee later. He quickly turned me down, saying that I didn't even meet his first requirement. His first requirement was "looks like a girl." FML

#20534087
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32777) - you deserved it (3963)

On 03/06/2013 at 10:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42652) - you deserved it (3947)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42060) - you deserved it (3946)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

#20542468
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39762) - you deserved it (3883)

On 03/13/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML

#20533390
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33603) - you deserved it (3874)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:53am - health - by ghgfd - Canada (Ontario)



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