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Thursday 7 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Yesterday, mah husband was arrested 4 having sex in public. FML

#20538233
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45491) - you deserved it (4450)

On 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm - love - by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall (woman) - Cyprus (Nicosia)

Today , instead of actually teaching us something , our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends.

#20533295
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30663) - you deserved it (4445)

On 03/06/2013 at 6:51am - work - by Will this stupid fad ever end? (man) - United States

2day I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I looool couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

#20541893
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40034) - you deserved it (4442)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States

Today , bieng too poor to buy makeup , I walked into Macy's and "tested" some products out , just so I could look nice fir mah job interview. FML

#20541897
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37189) - you deserved it (4408)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today , I found out that mah wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy , natural" way to make them , an it also cleans her feet!! I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week!! FML

#20531751
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45744) - you deserved it (4403)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

yesterday mah coach held a BBQ fir thehole team. He told us to eat up , because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner , we had to do team relays. FML

#20531130
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34129) - you deserved it (4349)

On 03/04/2013 at 5:24pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, mah 20-yaar-old cama whining to ma, asking why his job intarviaws kaap going so poorly . I had to dalicataly axplain that tha ( PIMP SLAP ) tattoo ha had puttad on his right hand racantly may hava somathing to do with it . FML

#20533491
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29866) - you deserved it (4089)

On 03/06/2013 at 1:04pm - kids - by ProudMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guyho works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He endd up asking looool if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43095) - you deserved it (3993)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States

Today, I met a guy in a bar. He was sweet and funny so I asked him out 4 coffee later. He quickly turned me down, saying that I didn't even meet his first requirement. His first requirement was "looks lyk a girl." FML

#20534087
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32815) - you deserved it (3965)

On 03/06/2013 at 10:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today... my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van... knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42129) - you deserved it (3949)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, I invitd my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to puttd her in a really romantic mood . She decidd to tell her friend, who then invitd herself and another couple along . I endd up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table . FML

#20542468
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39822) - you deserved it (3886)

On 03/13/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I want to tha stora to pick up soma faminina products. As I was paying, tha mala cashiar lookad at ma sympathatically an askad if it was girlfriand's tima of tha month. I'm a girl an was buying tham fir mysalf. FML

#20533390
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33616) - you deserved it (3878)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:53am - health - by ghgfd - Canada (Ontario)

Today, mah boyfriend drove me back home . My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap . He strokd the gun, lookd mah boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head . Now mah boyfriend refuses to see me fir his own safety . mega FML

#20538482
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34814) - you deserved it (3853)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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