Wednesday 6 March 2013 
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Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19137) - you deserved it (1889)
On 03/05/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by apparently-a-shed (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31156) - you deserved it (1860)
Today, my boyfriend's daughter asked me what would happen if she chose to stop urinating for two weeks. She wanted to know whether it would kill her or just start coming out of her mouth. She's 17-years old, and was deadly serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27124) - you deserved it (1851)
On 03/08/2013 at 8:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22100) - you deserved it (1766)
On 03/11/2013 at 10:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30684) - you deserved it (1757)
On 03/12/2013 at 6:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend decided to get a new haircut. Now, she hates the haircut and blames me for, in her words, "turning me into something I'm not". FML
I agree, your life sucks (23643) - you deserved it (1713)
On 03/10/2013 at 5:09am - love - by Nogood - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I moved back to my home town. My best friend and I had arranged to rent a house together that we both liked. I finished my last day at work and made the three-hour drive, only for her to break down and tell me that she isn't "ready" to move out of her parents' basement. She's 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26020) - you deserved it (1662)
On 03/12/2013 at 2:35pm - misc - by Hopelesshomeless (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25951) - you deserved it (1660)
On 03/11/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by marcymoo - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was told I've secured the job I applied for at my local hospital. Being just 19, this is a great opportunity, and I told my parents. They angrily asked if I'd applied just to get access to drugs, then demanded to know how I'd managed to pass the drug test. Thanks for the confidence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27347) - you deserved it (1628)
On 03/10/2013 at 9:51pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24051) - you deserved it (1606)
On 03/12/2013 at 10:05am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I bought a textbook for my college class. Not only is the £150 book only sold by our teacher, it turned out to be a piece of shit that he obviously wrote, printed, and stapled together at home. When I went to the faculty about it, I was told it's all perfectly legal, and to drop it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24976) - you deserved it (1601)
On 03/08/2013 at 1:44pm - money - by defrauded (woman) - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, and I excitedly called my mother to tell her about our engagement. She half-heartedly said, "Aww, that's nice", before changing the topic to what she'd found in her turd earlier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26154) - you deserved it (1515)
On 03/07/2013 at 12:10pm - love - by it's shitty, yeah, stfu (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33084) - you deserved it (1504)
On 03/11/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by cunts, cunts everywhere - Australia
Monday 20 May 2013
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