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Friday 1 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home to find my fiancé trying to do laundry. His version was "rubbing the smelly spots with baby powder". Looks like I'll be the only one doing laundry for the rest of our lives. FML

#20527738
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29828) - you deserved it (4322)

On 03/02/2013 at 2:23am - love - by 081013 - United States (Ohio)

Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML

#20524519
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37262) - you deserved it (4254)

On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I met a guy in a bar. He was sweet and funny so I asked him out for coffee later. He quickly turned me down, saying that I didn't even meet his first requirement. His first requirement was "looks like a girl." FML

#20534087
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35575) - you deserved it (4238)

On 03/06/2013 at 10:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML

#20533390
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37143) - you deserved it (4221)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:53am - health - by ghgfd - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I texted my boyfriend a cute picture that I drew for him, with a little note saying "love you." He replied by sending me a picture of a nose hair he'd plucked, along with the caption, "longest one yet." FML

#20526473
68 comments

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44604) - you deserved it (4158)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, I realised the extent of my wife's cat obsession when I received an $850 bill for the air conditioner she leaves on for our 5 cats while we are at work. FML

#20524027
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29160) - you deserved it (4126)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:12am - animals - by thecatlady (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML

#20524792
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39021) - you deserved it (4121)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by segal1010 - United States (Maryland)

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31396) - you deserved it (4108)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

#20526676
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39842) - you deserved it (4014)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML

#20532334
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47794) - you deserved it (3989)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm - love - by Alexandra - United States (Maryland)

Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML

#20533458
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32923) - you deserved it (3982)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm - work - by SlothyMolly - United States

Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML

#20523906
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30590) - you deserved it (3960)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by thepokemonkid - United States (Connecticut)



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