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Thursday 28 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I met a guy in a bar. He was sweet and funny so I asked him out for coffee later. He quickly turned me down, saying that I didn't even meet his first requirement. His first requirement was "looks like a girl." FML

#20534087
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32902) - you deserved it (3969)

On 03/06/2013 at 10:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42200) - you deserved it (3954)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29666) - you deserved it (3938)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML

#20524519
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33837) - you deserved it (3905)

On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML

#20532334
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46108) - you deserved it (3861)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm - love - by Alexandra - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML

#20524792
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35408) - you deserved it (3759)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by segal1010 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at my class's band concert. Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a girl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen. I said, "There, now your mom can see you play!" She responded with, "My mom's blind." FML

#20527693
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35258) - you deserved it (3737)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

#20526676
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36423) - you deserved it (3729)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in my architecture class, my professor's lecture consisted of a list of movies and books which feature characters who are architects. I couldn't leave because I needed the attendance points, and it lasted 45 minutes. I paid out of state tuition for this. FML

#20535215
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23560) - you deserved it (3721)

On 03/07/2013 at 10:18pm - misc - by seriously wtf (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML

#20523906
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27634) - you deserved it (3673)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by thepokemonkid - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML

#20533458
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29615) - you deserved it (3666)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm - work - by SlothyMolly - United States

Today, I woke up to find that my parents had replaced my regular alarm clock with a walking one that requires you to get up and find it. The alarm was set to 5:00AM, which would have been fine if it wasn't the weekend. FML

#20530545
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33920) - you deserved it (3608)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my car being broken into on the street below my apartment. Too scared to stop them myself, I called the police. Before I could even tell them what was going on, they put me on hold. It was a good 5 minutes before I realized they'd hung up on me. FML

#20524817
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28355) - you deserved it (3506)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:42pm - misc - by forgotten - United States (Arizona)



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