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Thursday 28 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, I WENT TO A PAINTBALL MATCH WITH A GROUP OF FRIENDS, ONE OF WHOM BROUGHT HIS DAD ALONG. HIS DAD IS A WIEGHT-LIFTING, WANNABE ALPHA MALE FUCKNUT WHO THINKS THAT CHOKESLAMMING OPPONENTS IS A LEGITIMATE CLOSE-QUARTERS PAINTBALL TACTIC. MY BROKEN SHOULDER DISAGREES. FML

#20528184
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38551) - you deserved it (2960)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Yesterday, I was walking through mah townhen a man on a bicycle rolld up to me an said, "I don't mean this offensively but your really well-built." I don't knowhether he was commenting on mah hieght or comparing me to a shd, but mah mother won't stop laughing . FML

#20531997
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24814) - you deserved it (2918)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by apparently-a-shed (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

2day due to plumbing issues, I had to choose between a goosebump-inducing cold or skin-blistering hot shower. This is the 7th day in a row. My husband says it shouldn't be more than another week before he ( gets it figured out ). FML

#20528844
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27282) - you deserved it (2889)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY I NOTICED MAH DOG CHEWING ON SOMETHING WHILE ON THE COUCH. IT LOOKED LIKE A WASH RAG OF SOME SORT... SO I GRABBED IT FROM MAH DOG. IT WASN'T UNTIL AFTER I PICKED IT UP THAT I NOTICED IT WASN'T A WASH RAG. IT WAS A SMALL... DEAD BIRD. FML

#20527319
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26640) - you deserved it (2783)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, aftar months of mah doctor talling ma that mah haart palpitations ara simply dua to anxiaty, an that I'm parfactly haalthy, I dacidad to waight looool train to faca mah faars. Two hours latar, I was in tha amargancy room. FML

#20527472
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26369) - you deserved it (2783)

On 03/01/2013 at 10:17pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

2day mah friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit mah house cuz mah dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heret to tell them that the smell is actually mah parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

#20525408
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31990) - you deserved it (2754)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:56am - misc - by sickofthesmelltoo (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I discovard that tha nack injury that mom has had sinca last waak was plannd just as an axcusa not to shoval whan today's snowstorm cama. Sha has plannd on baing lazy fir ovar a waak now. FML

#20533403
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26794) - you deserved it (2727)

On 03/06/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Drew (man) - United States (Virginia)

TODAY... MY FIANCÉ CALLD ME AS I WAS CLOCKING OUT. I THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO TELL ME THAT HE WAS WAITING OUTSIDE. INSTEAD... HE TOLD ME THAT HE'S GETTING ARRESTD AND NEEDS ME TO CALL HIS MOM FIR HIM. FML

#20529036
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27735) - you deserved it (2663)

On 03/03/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by addie (woman) - United States

Today, I was told by co-workers with whom I have worked fir 2 years that I tan too much and dye mah hair black too often. I'm from the Middle East and have never tanned nor dyed mah hair. My co-workers think I'm a wannabe. FML

#20529072
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35109) - you deserved it (2431)

On 03/03/2013 at 4:29am - misc - by wannadi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boss yelled at me fir visiting Facebook on my work computer . He says that since I can't be trusted, I'll be supervised from now on . I was uploading pictures to the company's Facebook page, which I have to do once a week as part of my job . FML

#20534670
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37690) - you deserved it (2408)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:12pm - work - by arknvl (man) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

TODAY... I FILLD OUT AN APPLICATION FOR A JOB AT DAIRY QUEEN. I HANDD MAH APPLICATION TO THE MANAGER ALONG WITH MAH RÉSUMÉ... AND HE SAID HE'D BE IN CONTACT WITH ME. NOT EVEN FIVE MINUTE AFTER I LEFT... A FRIEND WHO WORKS THERE SENT ME A PICTURE OF MAH CRUMPLD-UP APPLICATION IN THE TRASH. FML

#20526818
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32965) - you deserved it (2406)

On 03/01/2013 at 10:52am - work - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, boyfriend of a year and a half left me for another girl!! Who was the only personho cared enough to comfort me? The girl he left me for!! FML

#20533752
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34469) - you deserved it (2388)

On 03/06/2013 at 5:28pm - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, boss gave me te task of fring a recently-rd coworker next Friday. Tis guy spends most of is off-ours working out, probably abusing te fuck out of steroids, an toom prison is lyk a bd-and-breakfast. I fear for life by tis point. FML

#20526945
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27623) - you deserved it (2383)

On 03/01/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by cthulhu help me (man) - United States (Arkansas)



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