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Thursday 28 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to find that my parents had replaced my regular alarm clock with a walking one that requires you to get up and find it. The alarm was set to 5:00AM, which would have been fine if it wasn't the weekend. FML

#20530545
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27836) - you deserved it (3113)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

#20523063
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28278) - you deserved it (3077)

On 02/26/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by guyssuck (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, to avoid a massive delay on our scheduled flight at the airport, we were generously moved to an earlier flight home. An hour later, our new flight had been cancelled and they told us we'd be stuck at the airport overnight. Our original flight took off fine. FML

#20527906
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30315) - you deserved it (3069)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:14am - misc - by melyeah - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my roommate told me that she wants to get some of those "My Family" stickers for her car. She's single and has no children. What does she want to get? One for her, and one for her goldfish. Sadly, this is probably one of the most intelligent things she's said all week. FML

#20528651
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22201) - you deserved it (3040)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by dumbass for a flatmate - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after scouring my apartment for quarters to do laundry, I found the correct amount of change. The change got jammed in the washing machine. I now have no more quarters, and my clothes are caked with soap from washing them in the sink. FML

#20524387
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20885) - you deserved it (2997)

On 02/27/2013 at 1:27pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28967) - you deserved it (2997)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

#20525940
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24799) - you deserved it (2961)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:33pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Ards)

Today, I came home to find my fiancé trying to do laundry. His version was "rubbing the smelly spots with baby powder". Looks like I'll be the only one doing laundry for the rest of our lives. FML

#20527738
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21660) - you deserved it (2925)

On 03/02/2013 at 2:23am - love - by 081013 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took a week off work because my father passed away. I was at the funeral home making arrangements when I overheard the owners complaining about how their insurance agent had left them to fend for themselves. I'm their insurance agent. FML

#20531557
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25584) - you deserved it (2884)

On 03/04/2013 at 10:38pm - work - by KathleenSchuler - United States

Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML

#20529995
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27109) - you deserved it (2804)

On 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm - work - by smokeysarah94 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

#20526676
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30674) - you deserved it (2802)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

#20528184
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36325) - you deserved it (2769)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML

#20524519
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28523) - you deserved it (2720)

On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



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