Thursday 28 February 2013 
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Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24156) - you deserved it (2460)
On 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm - work - by SlothyMolly - United States
Today, I realised the extent of my wife's cat obsession when I received an $850 bill for the air conditioner she leaves on for our 5 cats while we are at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19923) - you deserved it (2449)
On 02/27/2013 at 2:12am - animals - by thecatlady (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML
I agree, your life sucks (42030) - you deserved it (2387)
On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37476) - you deserved it (2335)
On 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm - love - by Alexandra - United States (Maryland)
Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26241) - you deserved it (2325)
On 02/28/2013 at 5:56am - misc - by sickofthesmelltoo (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I discovered that the neck injury that my mom has had since last week was planned just as an excuse not to shovel when today's snowstorm came. She has planned on being lazy for over a week now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21755) - you deserved it (2320)
On 03/06/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Drew (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22939) - you deserved it (2310)
On 03/03/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by addie (woman) - United States
Today, I saw my car being broken into on the street below my apartment. Too scared to stop them myself, I called the police. Before I could even tell them what was going on, they put me on hold. It was a good 5 minutes before I realized they'd hung up on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22586) - you deserved it (2301)
On 02/27/2013 at 7:42pm - misc - by forgotten - United States (Arizona)
Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27744) - you deserved it (2271)
On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States
Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33543) - you deserved it (2266)
On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22240) - you deserved it (2265)
On 02/28/2013 at 5:33pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Ards)
Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25150) - you deserved it (2234)
On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after scouring my apartment for quarters to do laundry, I found the correct amount of change. The change got jammed in the washing machine. I now have no more quarters, and my clothes are caked with soap from washing them in the sink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19060) - you deserved it (2232)
On 02/27/2013 at 1:27pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)
Friday 24 May 2013
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