Wednesday 27 February 2013 
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Today, I took a week off work because my father passed away. I was at the funeral home making arrangements when I overheard the owners complaining about how their insurance agent had left them to fend for themselves. I'm their insurance agent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22889) - you deserved it (2042)
On 03/04/2013 at 10:38pm - work - by KathleenSchuler - United States
Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22984) - you deserved it (1916)
On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19174) - you deserved it (1892)
On 03/05/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by apparently-a-shed (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25354) - you deserved it (1890)
On 02/28/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by she sure has an arm. - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, due to plumbing issues, I had to choose between a goosebump-inducing cold or skin-blistering hot shower. This is the 7th day in a row. My husband says it shouldn't be more than another week before he "gets it figured out". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21103) - you deserved it (1890)
On 03/03/2013 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after months of my doctor telling me that my heart palpitations are simply due to anxiety, and that I'm perfectly healthy, I decided to weight train to face my fears. Two hours later, I was in the emergency room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20969) - you deserved it (1754)
On 03/01/2013 at 10:17pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)
Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19779) - you deserved it (1670)
On 03/01/2013 at 7:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was told by co-workers with whom I have worked for 2 years that I tan too much and dye my hair black too often. I'm from the Middle East and have never tanned nor dyed my hair. My co-workers think I'm a wannabe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29575) - you deserved it (1652)
On 03/03/2013 at 4:29am - misc - by wannadi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I filled out an application for a job at Dairy Queen. I handed my application to the manager along with my résumé, and he said he'd be in contact with me. Not even five minutes after I left, a friend who works there sent me a picture of my crumpled-up application in the trash. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27353) - you deserved it (1554)
On 03/01/2013 at 10:52am - work - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was feeling generous, so I made my roommate's favorite meal for her when she got home. When she did return home, she flipped her shit for no reason, screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history, I'm going to start checking my things for urine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21195) - you deserved it (1549)
On 02/25/2013 at 7:44pm - misc - by sniperkit (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22342) - you deserved it (1536)
On 03/01/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by cthulhu help me (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I trimmed my ear hair, my nose hair, shaved my hobbit feet, and trimmed the little sprouts that give me a unibrow if left alone. I still can't grow a beard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22007) - you deserved it (1486)
On 03/04/2013 at 7:41pm - misc - by ihatemakingnames (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my boyfriend of a year and a half left me for another girl. Who was the only person who cared enough to comfort me? The girl he left me for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28223) - you deserved it (1469)
On 03/06/2013 at 5:28pm - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Monday 17 June 2013
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