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Wednesday 27 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

#20522701
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31003) - you deserved it (3346)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my roommate told me that she wants to get some of those "My Family" stickers for her car. She's single and has no children. What does she want to get? One for her, and one for her goldfish. Sadly, this is probably one of the most intelligent things she's said all week. FML

#20528651
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24471) - you deserved it (3267)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by dumbass for a flatmate - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30945) - you deserved it (3259)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, to avoid a massive delay on our scheduled flight at the airport, we were generously moved to an earlier flight home. An hour later, our new flight had been cancelled and they told us we'd be stuck at the airport overnight. Our original flight took off fine. FML

#20527906
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31966) - you deserved it (3221)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:14am - misc - by melyeah - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

#20525940
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27709) - you deserved it (3217)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:33pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Ards)

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30721) - you deserved it (3184)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

#20521313
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32081) - you deserved it (3183)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:33am - love - by vat (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I took a week off work because my father passed away. I was at the funeral home making arrangements when I overheard the owners complaining about how their insurance agent had left them to fend for themselves. I'm their insurance agent. FML

#20531557
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27948) - you deserved it (3128)

On 03/04/2013 at 10:38pm - work - by KathleenSchuler - United States

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

#20528184
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38388) - you deserved it (2947)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML

#20529995
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28112) - you deserved it (2892)

On 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm - work - by smokeysarah94 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML

#20531997
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23605) - you deserved it (2799)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by apparently-a-shed (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, after months of my doctor telling me that my heart palpitations are simply due to anxiety, and that I'm perfectly healthy, I decided to weight train to face my fears. Two hours later, I was in the emergency room. FML

#20527472
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26225) - you deserved it (2775)

On 03/01/2013 at 10:17pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, due to plumbing issues, I had to choose between a goosebump-inducing cold or skin-blistering hot shower. This is the 7th day in a row. My husband says it shouldn't be more than another week before he "gets it figured out". FML

#20528844
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26030) - you deserved it (2768)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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