Monday 25 February 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9478) - you deserved it (54871)
On 03/02/2013 at 10:38pm - love - by douchegamer - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I received a chain-mail text that vividly described what "Tanya" would do to me in my sleep if I didn't forward it on. I'm so paranoid that I did just that. I also realized that accidentally forwarding such things to your boss can get you fired. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8572) - you deserved it (40964)
On 03/01/2013 at 11:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17361) - you deserved it (32843)
On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I got talking to a pretty girl on the subway. Just as she was about to get off, I handed her my phone so that she could give me her number. She ran out with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12683) - you deserved it (32194) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/26/2013 at 12:02am - love - by crétin-crédule - France (Limousin)
Today, after spending almost an hour in the dentist's waiting room, watching other people get called in for their appointments, I finally lost my patience and asked the receptionist what was taking so long. I'd forgotten to sign in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7466) - you deserved it (31209)
On 03/02/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by oops (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15885) - you deserved it (31190)
On 03/04/2013 at 12:01am - love - by DEATHBYEX1LE - Australia
Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13248) - you deserved it (29983)
On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15836) - you deserved it (28956)
On 03/02/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by stabbed with kindness (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)
Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8473) - you deserved it (25793)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I walked into what I thought would be a surprise birthday party. It wasn't. It was my parents staging an intervention over my cat obsession. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13650) - you deserved it (22916)
On 03/04/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by DM - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I realized that the homeless people I give change to all dress better than I do, including the one that doesn't believe in pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11148) - you deserved it (19008)
On 02/26/2013 at 10:54am - misc - by keerow (man) - United States
Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38117) - you deserved it (14864)
On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States
Today, I was in bed when I rolled over and saw a hand right beside my head. I freaked out and nearly peed myself, just to realize that it was the huggable heart pillow my boyfriend had given to me on Valentine's Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9548) - you deserved it (14283)
On 02/27/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by girlymae (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Monday 17 June 2013
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